Read Poem: Ride or Die, by Rachel Marie

 

Scrolling through my memory

I stop on slideshows with pictures of you & me

As I reminisce on our younger years

And constantly ask God why you’re not here

Why’d it have to be you that he took?

Why’d it have to be my world he shook?

Glancing now across this ocean

I still see our footprints where we stood—side by side

You were my first—ride or die

You showed me what love was

And taught me to be whatever I wanted

Allowing me to be myself & showing me how to release my burdens

Through music & writing, I remember your teachings

And all the lessons on how not to let my demons consume me

Letting me think for myself

But still guiding

And whenever I felt like dying 

You were always there to revive me

To this day I still don’t understand

Why God took my brother…

Instead of another man-

 

I still remember like it was yesterday

Since I got that call I’ve never been the same

Though I smile, still it’s faked

Just knowing I won’t hear your voice everyday

I apologize for the cruelty

Those words I never should have said

Despite the battles between us

I honestly never wished you were dead

I called your phone twenty plus times a day

Just to hear your voicemail & say:

“I love you more than yesterday—

More than you’ll ever know—

And if you’re watching down on me now—

Guide my steps; show me where to go”

Then I hang up & I’m angered

I was a fool to say those cruel things to you

Many said you had forgiven me

Yet I never heard it from you

And Lord—if you’re listening—

Will you just tell my brother one thing:

Tell him I’m sorry for the way I reacted—

I didn’t mean it.

And he’s missed immensely—

I wish he could hear me when I scream it

 

Looking up to the sky…as tears fill my eyes…

I guess God needed an angel…

That would forever ride or die.

 

In loving memory of my brother

RIP September 09|2017