Read Poem: Tragedy and Triumph, by Kate Murphy

How much longer can I endure this pain locked and loaded with the chambers full of shame

How could you do this, take my innocence away

You brought darkness to my life causing great chaos and disarray

You were supposed to be my protector and forever keep my safety in mind

I’ve been so violated and scarred my sense of self is basically blind

You slowly built a prison around me

One where escape was unlikely

You convinced me that it was because you loved me

But your idea of love caused me to live in a huge amount of fear at all times

Consumed by it, paralyzed by it, controlled by it, often spinning me into a wild fit.

The rage that occupies my mind, body, and soul

Caused me to live a life so out of control

I never thought I would break out of your prison of hell

It was if you had me under some sadistic spell

You convinced me that no one would ever love me, care for me, accept me- that once they got to know me they would flee

But you were wrong

I am not weak I am strong

Like the trees around me that bend and sway my will does the same

It dances with the sorrow that follows me that consumes me but it does not break me.

Your storms that wreck havoc do not destroy everything but the darkness they create make it an unforgiving task when looking for the beauty

The beauty of love, the beauty of compassion, the beauty of connection

When the darkness gives everything a place to hide its as if the pain is all that exists

But my will to carry on to keep fighting this battle is still with me

You have pushed me to the limit time and time again but I push back harder

Many nights I have sat on the edge of my bed my face moist from the tears streaming down, my body shaking from the fear that this will never end

But the fog lifts at some point and the beauty can be seen and felt once again

The cool damp floor that I continue to dance my way across gives a strong foundation for everything to build upon

The darkness and pain I endure give me gratitude for when the light shines through

I will fight this war to the end, I will weather the storms, I will move forward again and again.

I am a survivor

-Kate Murphy