COMEDY Poem: An Office Affair, by Ben Macnair

No-one said the Photocopier was easy,
it just lit up for anyone who pressed its buttons.

No-one said the stapler was vicious,
but it would put metal teeth through anyone who went near.

No-one said paper was a victim,
but it was always being scribbled upon and screwed up.

No-one said the paper-shredder was malnourished,
but paper never counted as one of the 5 a day.

No-one said the broom was foolish,
but it always cleared up with his head.

No-one accused the bin of being greedy,
but everyone complained when it was full.

No-one ever said a paper-clip was lonely,
they hang about in boxes of hundreds,
and are only used in groups of one.

No-one said pens were disloyal,
but they never grieved when one ran out.

No-one said the laminating pouches were truthful,
but you could see through them.

No-one said the table was vain,
but it always had its legs on display.

No-one ever put any value in the safe,
but it kept its secrets locked away.