Read Poem: My Minds Matters. Angel Of Authenticity 2024, by J.L. Smith

Am I unique with singular thoughts?
Who believes it must be everyone?
Who could not?
Could it possibly persuade my contorted sane?
One who sees the malevolence prior to the timekeeper’s piece.
I’ve always held it together, with a puzzled fashion of disbelief.
Telling stories of what will be, like it has passed.
Coming to grips.Never-
Not the first, the best,the only.
Realities I must grasp.
Only suspicious is she who believes a plot twisted so nefarious,
against a guardian of earth.

Spellcasting, death magic, voodoo priests.
What do you figure for me? Yes….
I should , indeed.
Send it back to the sender. To solidify.
I hope I gave it enough postage .
To do something other than adhere my message to the post box.
Would be a thrill.
I believe Ennui is sitting in disbelief.
There are even rules when your an evil
Dark spiritual practitioner.
How could anyone know that?
Brainwashing kids to never .
Believing in nothing.Only time can tell
How in the hell does that really work?
When only time knows.
Proved right after 20 years. Live and learn.
I wish I could have known
.That time told, only time can do masterpieces justice.
Which is now here -You said it was,
I must have rejected the notion in fear.
You showed me what today is.

Utterances of disbelief.
No question,we traveled together astrally.
That would have been a great time to pay attention.
to details-Certain not to correct with ink pen.
For perhaps a few changes, here and there through the tears.
Painful heartache, re-written or ended.
With a Final Period. A new page.
A whole new notebook on those times on those days.
Where I went far off base astray.
Delayed, dismayed. Unforgivable regrets of making mistakes.
Then again, I do not like to compare myself to anyone.
It is not fair. Even if that person is who you used to talk to.
In the mirror. Not your current self.
A Rival, a method of survival.
For loving me has seasons, departures and arrivals.

Lead pencil sharpener fine.
Blank white paper,kind with no lines.
I hope you packed a pink eraser.
so I have an option to edit my paper .
Edit my life. If it was not written and on film.
I could just hit rewind.
I couldn’t believe I lived so close.
So drab. So I’m not very good.
So pretentious to ever discover the bridge to freedom.
The things I survived are the things I said-Never.
I would have “never” done it.
I stamped confidential information on anonymous behavior.
I realize now,
I had that moment to be my own savior,and neighbor.
An angel Guarding our freakishly frightened nature.
I wish I had known it was real.
Taken seriously, my final draft.
Looks like my closet is full of notebooks and papers on edits .
I never finished, stories still residing in my mind.
I can’t remember how it ends.
Until all is done and events start to begin..
“Oh man”.
That’s code for “how the hell did I not! Living this predestiny again once over, means it will be finished, until I change radically .
That way my destiny won’t recognize me the next time I get pulled over.
I see this again ! With characters such as myself,depending on his team, smiling from the Ethers.
I am sure he is really getting a kick out of all of this.
He told me so, and I told him “You wish”
To say that it’s a shock, and I find myself both feet in.
An understatement at best.
Hanging to disturbing hope.
That you’re in some sort of a lead to win.
Whatever the prize is. I have seen this before “
The train is coming” then they yell all aboard.
There is no engine on the train.
There are no propelling agents to gain momentum,
Just the suckers in a line holding hands to waist.
Making train noises with their disappointed voice.
History has seen this before
“Just keep the faith a little more,
30 years have passed,the train is still on the skids.
Just ask the Politicians,the Lawyers and the US government.
Should I call them the US covenant?
United for Satan and his gang. No surprise,when you die, Feds mandate removing your brain
They are over it as well, with me.
I have nothing but love and light.
Alchemy and transmutation are an easy go.
I can do it without offering a soul.
I am programmed to snitch the Illuminati type.
Something for my brain to sit on at night.
I can remember, they truly thought a lot of things about me.
Except, I won’t tell not on anyone.
Sideways up, I am not talking grim.
GUESS what, the illumination is coming in. Now with Alchemy and Faith and the Light on the right side, The dark priests, the wayward kids and the AnanKI, MIT surgeons, that quit their jobs. The Gang Bangers, The Control Groups and the Fashionable Snobs,
I got them on the other side seemingly with what was left.
I seat them next to the mob.
Somehow, I realized my prize is not yet to be won.
Trying all the roads, I would have never ever fearlessly tamed.
Not to mention all the friends you meet along the way.
I ride a motorcycle, You may see me living my fullest life.
Full of danger and extreme instances of death and life.
I do A OK, and you do meet the nicest people on A Honda.
Nice to meet you. My name is friend.
I am the Angel, a representative of our
Ridiculously graceful , and highest possibility.
I am the Angel of Authenticity.
I had to be brainwashed by a GANG.
A clique-
I actually prefer to say.
In order to break free.
I don’t work conventionally, use the clock.
The
Calendar is something that passes too quickly.
Another month goes by another Set of Checka to write.
Turning the pages, flip. Flip, Flip.
Being invaded by the hands of a clock
until the time has your mind.
People sit in a place longing for more.
You want more of it, yet you tend to kill it.
Just please Sir, let me take some of your minutes.
I said “ No way not me” to everything that’s built me.
Had I not had my Brain thoroughly cleaned.
Soap it up suds, washy.
My perpetrator really must love me.
I am a legend, and I do whatever I please.
I do whatever the hell, all the things I never knew.
I dig down deep, find God, and deliver others’ hope. “
Yes you can, I did so can you”
Maybe you can skip the targeted part.
Perhaps, you can just take advice and start living for yourself.
I am married to my motorcycle and my guitar too.
It is a love triangle. Well, actually there is God too.
So, I guess it is more like a love square.
Good and solid. Like A BRICK wall.
If it weren’t for mind control-
I’d have no mind or life at all.
I was always backwards-
Teetering towards Nomaid.
I have learned to heal myself with somatics-
Along with LSD.
Behold the free Thinker-
Released. The lightest spirit –
Weighed light as a feature- Light is me.
Atleast- I am me- The Angel of Authenticity.
With advice.
Be sure to bring a Leaded pencil, sharpened fine. Blank white paper-
Whatever you do, don’t forget to pack your pink eraser.
That way you and your doubts can make serious changes later.
One big mistake you will regret.
Is staying stuck in old patterns, timelines and habits.
Refusing to use anything but a sharpie or an ink pen.
Unless it is invisible ink.
Is that even safe?
You might be prone to disappearing.
Fugaciousness is a possible adverse side effect-
I still don’t advise it unless maybe it’s your divine dream and path.
I was a target of Brainwashing at age 22.
I have lots of reasons to be proud.
If life gives you Lemons- All you have is a butter knife-
No jug- No water-No sugar- No Stand-
Dig out your leaded pencil and blank white paper.
Utilize that pink eraser-
Make a to do list to buy your supplies.
Or sell yours and buy some popsicles.
That way you can blow off that stand.
Maybe trade them for a milkshake-
to the lemon shake- up stand dude.
Transmute. Compute, reuse, redo.
Rethink, re-ponder, re-run the sitcom over.
Then delete it, write your own.
You ain’t a version- of you that is your clone.
I might be GENX, but I am not Gen two.
I may be nicknamed the 10Jens,
Not JenDover and out and that is Miss 10Jens 2 you.
What could a magical mind explore in the depths of truth?
If your brain had a sleepover.
With someone else’s ideas-
Including your higher selves.
Just for a day.
What you would dream, and what you would say-
May surprise even the experts-
All up in their expertise.
Just be careful- to mind your head.
Keep it in one piece.
Peacefully.
Don’t bite your erasers either.
You may need those sometime later.
Power of suggestion, like a placebo.
Tyranny is a dictator.
My brainwasher- Made me brainwashed.
capable of changing the World.
Giving me the power to disclose
The Power of Uniqueness. To be.
A power to be many many times over a power
– For the people. Fight tyranny-Lead-Relief- Bring it on.
I have never been so free.
With a head full of suds.
That’s kept me debt free.
I am not bound by man.
I am not bound by my suggestion.
Free will was unleashed- And untrained Art-
Like a dog in the Park- Climbing a tree-
Where he meT Fish-
His new best opportunity and friend.
Who would have thought.
Contrary to popular belief-
Fish weren’t so bad at climbing that tree.
He let a bird take him up to the nest-
What happened next- I don’t speculate-
Through mind control.
A world I had never seen.
The web I landed in – Not a trap.
It was the finest, most incognito trampoline. –
STUCk in the dither –
Not me- No sir. Narcissists quit being bikers.
SOME QUIT, no notice. Agents for Satan,
Went to hell-
Told him they couldn’t take it.
Unscathed ME. unbothered identity. Authenticity.
I molded and mastered.
Who needs them anyways -Old bastards.
I grabbed the silky spools and liked Tarzan .
I parasailed that low vibe. Made it high.
The challenges and the moments, when they didn’t know
– Neither did I .
I honestly, Still don’t
That is the day I become free.
I had free will.
I could have run and hid.
I instead marveled at the plan So intricate-
So many years later. I couldn’t explain it –
Even with a TedX.
Not even with a narrator.
A simple trigger-
Genius arises, perhaps a dancing girl, or other things.
All of which, you’d “never” do.
You don’t have to fight to try- you just do.
Full surprises are my favorite part-
Who knows.
All the marvelous things you can do-
Only when you master unbothered go with the flow-
Completely where you ain’t got a clue.
It is ok if you don’t know how to do the things- You will.
disclaimer: You will wear shoe sized zero to 22.-
Hats bags, matching this
to match all that you’re going to need along the way.
Oh, also; don’t forget to pack your crazy hair.
You will need it. There’s a lot of strange characters out there.
You’ll learn to be your own entourage.
Finding yourself at them cross roads you will more than once.
It’s about that time you’ll be real real glad you and God-
At Least- he said that was his name-
You’ll be holding hands singing
“Kum bai ya.” . He will then inform you-
“ You’ll be a little bit of country-
A little bit of Soul- Mixed with some punk rock and roll.
A little bit of blue grass – Just because these guys are so cool ,with a shit eating grin on their faces . Just like you had ,way back when.-
Maybe a little polka too- Because you never knew you liked it until you tried it. “
My only concrete solid decision .
Was not able to make it, and accidentally stumbled.
UPon predators targeting youngsters. To help the Earth become better.
Fight corruption and be super ute, and hilarious.
Witty and discrete. Who knows.
I think most people look at the situation as a horribly traumatic and dreadful experience.
I do not. I write songs.
Heal people and Thank the man upstairs,
and the fat man ( probably down stairs let’s be honest he did me a solid
A Heavenly Saint? Maybe- God’s right hand man?
I do not speculate though, awful habit)
I was able to make it before this .
Kidnapping of my ordinary.
For certain I was absolutely dead set against it.
The notion of living a mediocre life.
With nothing to do and no way to prove.
I climb cringe mountain and show who I AM.
One thing is for sure.
If that man was aiming to ruin my life.
He probably also quit being a bad guy.
So, point proven,
Saving souls one bad dude at a time-
Without effort-
Just by being all Kind and calm and cool and neat, and alive and sweet and forgiving and a soldier of God. Authentically Me.
I couldn’t have done it without God.
The fat man just made it
A little Jollier and sweeter along the path.
Little surprise nooks of Social sparkly treasures.
Living with empty white walls-
I see a canvas- Carpet bland and beige-
Had I been normal- My story would only have been one page.
Now I am fifty feet all this and all That .
Like a two toned Totem.
A great monument. Wise council.
A skunk is my Native American Medicine animal.
The only animal who needs no violence-
Make way for Skunk- everyone obliges-
Words unsaid. Curiously nocturnal, the Skunk waddles ahead .
The red carpet rolled out ahead.
I wonder if he mistakes the carpet fuzz for…
Nevermind that. I would have never guessed-
That is exactly like who I naturally am-
I now know- Indians had it figured out..
Boy, we really screwed that up for the long term haul eh?
If I was left to meander the world unsupervised-
I would have done the same to my life.
On everything I say-
dMy tight lips and cool calm collected stride.
Would have just played it safe . Then Died.
That to me- Is the real tragedy of life.
Not suffering attacks, but never going outside.
Of comfort zones-
Danger Zones are good to get out of-
I try to look at things with positive outcomes.
I kept a few rules- Otherwise I do everything anyway.
I ever wanted to. To be a good brainwashes- You adapt a strong
character- A teller of Truth, that is who I am naturally.
An Integrity based person ,Never a thief.
You’re always being watched by God I say.
You got to ignore the spy cams, -Don’t freak out .
You are a guide to show those who don’t know about your cool.
That your solid as a rock and you don’t speak unless –
You want to and then I get loud. You say what you need to.
Instantly you’re pleased. Spy cameras are also listening-
You can get it out and move on..
Without any fouls, or any harm done.
Years start to pass, you forget about that,
Well, As a matter of fact that isn’t entirely true.
My ops are my best friend too.
You can imagine it isn’t that easy to make friends.
I can befriend and heal and teach strangers.
I prefer to battle through glaciers by myself.
Always have. I can be social- I can be deserted.
I try not to self isolate- I am not. Wilson by my side.
The Feds, The men, the brainwashers are my only next of kin.
Been With me for every moment , Sitting in observance.
Like I am a veteran, or a flag
this started 22 years in now
We have had a lot of trials and errors and temptations.
They know every song on my playlist.
The words and rhythm too.
Watch me eat every donut on my days
Where I don’t want to get up and move-
Just stay in my head.
They have been the only guests.
Dinner parties and dates.-They never eat-
Touch nothing on their plates.
Watched me get dumped- Watched me master—–
– Create my dreams
I am the one with the Blank sheet of paper.
If I break my pencil, on my path
I’ll magically find my spare one later.
A sharpened one ready to go.
It was mine all along-
I just didn’t remember where it went.
Because they know my taste and they know my role.
The real me. Before and After .
They are never seen, always guarded-
I know they are there. I don’t know who- or from where.
They hail.
I hold them highly regarded and watch over them too-
AGAINST the fools who don’t know until they do.
Those guys know who they are.
Can smell the bad dude on me.
Never a second of this journey have I felt fear-
Violated or misunderstood.
Nothing more I want -Than to wish them good night.
Regardless of the reason, why they show up-
They always do day in and night shifts too. F
first week one , through year 22.
I’ve never had anyone so loyal, have you?

Who cares why- I am in a relationship,
that has neglectful undertones.-
Mainly because nobody knows- Not even I.
Nothing to be remembered for. Like me-
They hide- Behind Ordinary.
However; nothing is ordinary about being a spy!
Nothing I could go brag to anyone about.
They show a great restraint and discipline-
Even for strangers.
No doubt.
My relationship- The one that has my heart.
Are my secret agents?
Secretly , they sneak and loiter in my backyard.
Now- well now ….
I spend a considerable amount of money at
The Hobby Lobby- and various music stores.
I paint – White racing stripes vertically .
Knowing the Skunk is my Totem animal-
Made me realize .
I do make sense ( no pun intended!)
An artist, a song writer and a Riders Writer.
A woah man, a friend, and a loner by trade.
I am nice, and I do RIDE A Honda-
Not without a guitar in a tote.
The only weapon I need for malevolence and transmutation.
I am now an alchemist, a musician and an artist.
and a mentor- A coach and a liaison
A writer- well let’s be honest. a rock star
I am a storyteller- Original writer and creator of hilarium.
My fingers don’t always appreciate my tongue’s abilities.
I tried counseling to repair the relationship-
My therapist said it is grim-
My saturated mind with foam fuzzy bath salts say-
“ Duh- That is what editors are for my dear”
write it anyways!
My point is- Somehow it is important through all that-
For someone to see me all the way through-
My innocence only hidden from a few-
and know I’m innocent- They see who.
Been set up for the fall –
More than once- I stand tall.
Some people, just need a whole pit crew-
I reckon to conclude.
I am one of those marvels.
Creative- I have always been.
A message- I always was passionate about.
A human- Humanitarian, my own best friend.
A wolf.Dressed like a wolf too.
The only difference now is I can come up with stories,
rhymes, poems and jingles, ideas for him, ideas for them.
I come up with new things on a daily basis.
With all my time just for me-
No bills, no debt- Living just for me-
and my purpose.

yet to my liking- I cannot betray my dignity.
Errors, inexperience
leak across the pages.
Good thing I got my Pink erasers with.
Like falling on stage-But hell,
I been there and –
I Made iT.
The audience thought I just did a backflip.
Through to today. Not without incident.
More tragedy than most families have witnessed.
Crimson draped over my life.
That is why- I am a walking testimony-
My pout only comes out once and a while-
My happy free spirited style-
Holds its own. So do I .
Shaking in their boots, dumbfounded boys chatter.
Yet, I tell them how- they refuse it-
Like it is a joke. They may be- They are not me-
That is the catch 22 years-
I been laying slabs of solid foundation down-
way before they knew .
I was the hot tater tot in town
I when they wrote their rough draft-
Even less serious and -Less Edits-
They have many times to get it right-
Botch it up though- that only takes one night.
It’s only our whole life- No big deal. My friend-
Still it isn’t to late I say to them-
Half time. not Half ass.
Free will- Not a free pass.
Cheating on the test. Simply will not do,
Perhaps the Elders can emphasize this .
More in the next batch. Or two.
Little cookies without knowing it has.
Chocolate chipped stashed.
Inside. You don’t figure that out
– Until you put in the work- Nearly Die,
once or twice. Humbly grateful thank the men-
Then your getting closer to being able to begin the good stuff-
It isn’t easy, it’s quite rough- dangerous and depletes your inner core.
They’ve stacked and racked it in their heads. What exactly I am.
I REALLY would like to give them a toast, with their jam.
It would go something like this.
“Here’s to free will–
Acts of making corpses-
from little girls- A little lady.
How ironic your boss made me- sweet.
Shady-
Sauce with sugar and spice,
yes it is fair -And neat.
So nice. It’s just us now.
Relax-I didn’t tell on you-
Oh- but I still might. It is early yet-
Death fell over Elders-
The Cranium Police.
The Death you wanted and wished for me.
-A corpse.
Now it’s just as you wished.
Alone are you?
Alone in your clique?
Holding the tattered sac of remorse.
At Least- you get to hold the buck .
While I only have in my sock a dime-
At Least- I’ll have a change of socks for later.
Now- Minding your business is mine.
My matters on your mind.- couldn’t be greater
My mind matters- and so do I.”
New guy..JUST QUIT.
“Angel of Authenticity Just Jen 2024