DEATH Poem: to be a kid with you, by Amy Sorrels

I would fade into nothingness so fast if it meant you could come back for a moment—
if we could relive a single memory together,
instead of just me carrying this aching around like an anvil, like a swarm of wasps.

I wrote you into my veins,
maybe you were always there.
But when my blood pulses I can convince myself it’s your name ringing in my ears.

In the light, I return to myself,
but it’s nothing like when I had another person
to connect all my seemingly misconnections to.

The winter was made just for us.
And I will miss you gloriously every summer in between.
The gold flecks in your hair, the soft brown of mine,
hay between our teeth,
cowboys until I can sink into the earth beside you.

I have the soul of another and maybe that’s why I could spare one,
why I could take the punches without bleeding on your shirt.

I’ll never miss a day missing you.