DEATH Poem: How To Grieve a Living Parent, by Christian Heigler

Denial
You try to ignore the fact that you notice that he sometimes forgets your name, days of the week, how old he is, where he puts his phone, where his cameras are, what he was doing in the middle bedroom, to turn off the stove.

Anger
You are angry because the VA won’t get off their lazy asses. You are angry at the doctor
who misdiagnosed his strokes, at the war he still remembers, at the fact that you feel
helpless, that it’s happening and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Bargaining
You are asking the god you turned away from and the ones you turn to now for help.
You beg to become his home health care aide, you try to tell yourself that these things
happen, you secretly hope that it won’t move slowly because you can’t imagine the rest.

Depression
You know that this will feel comfortable to you. This is a place you have called home,
that you have been consumed by, that you know will come quickly, that The Fog descends, you will drink, you will smoke, you will do anything to numb more.

Acceptance
May you be granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That one day his laugh will be no longer, that you will mourn forever, that your mother will lose her husband, that your lives will be broken, that you will still love him no matter what.