COMEDY Poem: GOOSE MONKEY, by Maceo Nightingale

I’d rather talk to a pornstar than a poet.
Poets are confusing, emotional, and lazy.
And then there are people on social media.
I’d rather talk to a shitting dog than a person on social media.
Every person on social media makes me want to jump out of a window.
People who make videos on YouTube are boring and lazy.
This new wave of youtubers who have chickenshit minds must be turned into scrambled eggs.
They have nothing interesting to say on youtube.
All the videos make me want to jump out of a window.
And then there are the little crying babies on Instagram, tic toc, reddit, Twitter, 4chan, etc.
Ahhh, it feels good to release my wrath on these social media fuckers.
Sometimes you have to write like an asshole to entertain people.
The poet will forever remain in the golden castle with a silver pencil.
These youtubers are now talking like philosophers.
Anyone who talks like a philosopher is a monkey driving a car.
Philosophers are very good at sounding smart.
And anyone who sounds smarts uses a bunch of bullshit words that I can care less about.
I’d rather talk to a shitting dog than a YouTuber.
I’d rather go to a mental hospital than be on social media.
I’d rather talk to a sandwich than a philosopher.
I’d rather talk to a pornstar than a poet
I don’t want women to love me.
I don’t want men to love me.
They’re both gross and smell like eggs.
And they make me sick to my stomach.
When someone is loved too much, they lose all sense of hate.
Hatred is powerful when beautifully expressed.
The man who hates his mother can do a lot of things in life.
The woman who hates her father can do a lot of things in life.
Who’s to blame? The creator or the children?
And the worm that crawls up an arm will keep crawling.
I want to suck on your farts and bleed out your shit.
It doesn’t matter how many books you’ve read.
It doesn’t matter how many movies you’ve seen.
It doesn’t matter how many TV shows you’ve watched.
It doesn’t matter how much money you make.
It doesn’t matter what job you have.
It doesn’t matter how much music you’ve listened to.
It doesn’t matter how many men you’ve had sex with.
It doesn’t matter how many women you’ve had sex with.
What does matter is that you pick up your dogs poop and throw it into the trash.
I can make a straight man turn gay.
I can make a gay man turn straight.
I can make a lesbian fly in a plane.
But I have better things to do.
If you are accepted and liked by everyone then life becomes boring.’
Fall in love with appearance, then you are only left with a boring personality.
Fall in love with personality, then you are only left with an ugly appearance.
Some men are all penis, no brains.
Some men are all brains, no penis.
Men can become whores by being too sexual or by reading too many books.
There is no winning or losing when you are a whore.
At a certain point, a man will cut off his penis and feed it to the dogs.
This is the true testament of a man.
Do deaf dogs bark?

Author: poetryfest

Submit your Poetry to the Festival. Three Options: 1) To post. 2) To have performed by an actor 3) To be made into a film. View all posts by poetryfest