TRAGIC Poem: 6.3.24 LLKS, by Katherine Pfeffer

I dragged myself up this
mountain the day we got the
email. A 7th grader
dead. And I prayed it
wasn’t you.

No one can hear
me on this hill. Could
anyone hear you when
you killed yourself? Can
you hear your teacher’s
sobs? Can you feel your
friends’ shock? Can you see
their hollow faces? Their
deadened eyes.

Would you have done it all the same?

The world is filled with
horrible things. Your
pain was such a horrible
thing. The bruises on your
arms bled into your
heart. You were a
good kid. You didn’t
deserve the agony, the
horrors you held in your
mind. The weight
of your thoughts. What
pushed you to
end it all?

At school,
they all dressed
in black for
you. Tomorrow they’ll
wear yellow. There was
a room of counselors. They
told us to talk about
memories of you.

You were so
excited to have a
little brother. You said
hi to me even
if I wasn’t with
my sister. You
shouted your friend’s
name from all the way
across the campus.

They all
miss you. The girls
cried all day. The boys
grieved as one. The internet
is flooded with
messages for you.

They posted a
picture drawn of you. Your
smile forever preserved in
pencil. Your arms
forever open to a
hug. They drew
angel wings on your
back. A halo
over your head.

The students brought
flowers for you. They made a
memorial in your honor. A
tribute was signed. Today’s
attendance was missing a
name. Their drawings
haunt the whiteboards. They
write ∞13 on their
stories. They draw
LLKS on their wrists. A
GoFundMe was
started. Someone donated
a thousand bucks. You were
worth infinitely more.

I prayed for
you that night. I
told god you deserve
whatever salvation he has
for you. That you deserve
the chance to be saved.

It’s not
pretty. The world didn’t care
how pretty you would look
in your grave.

One week and five
days later. You used to
love watching the
sunsets. They’ve never
glowed brighter.