PARODY Poem: Leaving Troy, by Brian Potts

“As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.”
—“Ithaka,” by Konstantinos Petrou Kavafis

Troy burns.
By the heavy-laden ships, Odysseus seeks Nestor.
Honey-tongued Nestor pours smooth words:

“Hope your road is a long one? No!
Race for Ithaka! Do not delay.
We had to sail to Troy. Helen was no guest-gift.
But now, race back to Ithaka. Penelope of the cunning and crafty ways waits for you.
Athena says she spins her loom by day and unravels by night to delay the suitors.
Will you leave her doomed to the fate of Sisyphus?
Will you abandon her to the suitors? Is that the way of a noble king?
I race home for Eurydice.
Delay your journey for the sake of the journey? No!
Remember your son. Telemachus needs a journey, and needs you for it.
You sacrificed part of his journey when you sailed under stolen winds.
You engineered victory for us. Now race home for Ithaka.
What was triumph for if after the war you abandon your family?
Why defend Menelaus’ wife if you won’t defend your own?
I know you long for your homecoming.
It will not be your fault if Poseidon curses you.
It will not be your fault if Polyphemus traps you.
It will not be your fault if Calypso rapes you. You will escape.
I know you will make the most of your journey,
But you will not delay your homecoming for the sake of the journey.
As you set out for Ithaka hope that your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery?
Nonsense! When you head home, ask the gods for a short and adventure-less voyage.
No more mania! You had enough adventure and instruction from life.
What? Don’t fear the Cyclops and angry Poseidon? You must fear them! Enough mania!
Don’t stop at every port on the way. What do you need of sensuous perfumes without Penelope?
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey? No. Troy gave you the journey. Now race for Ithaka.
Ithaka has everything left to give you. We already have plenty of stories to tell of you.”

Crafty Odysseus hauls to his sea-blackened ship the mixing-bowl beautifully wrought of silver,
Won in a race against all the Argives save Achilleus, as Antilochus loads his prize, smiling.

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