PARODY Poem: The Fattest Man in the World, by Jon Walker

Scanning retail books, I was struck.
A title you see.
To un-see would take some luck.
“The Fattest Man in the World”

I passed with nimble ease,
Making distance on my escape.
Should not be seen if you please
Thumbing through such murky tele-tape.

The caption accusatorially mocks.
Am I fat?
Not enough to have my own book.
That would be huge!
Is that mean?
I didn’t say it aloud.
So, is that allowed?
Like the fattest man in the world?
Talk about drawing a crowd.

Decision made, I will take another look.
Surely there is a reason for such a book.

And there lies my grave error.
Nothing to do with mass: only speed.
Hand to the face in horror
It would help if I could read.
Slowly I said
“The Fastest Man in the World”

Jon Walker