ELEGY Poem: “an elegy on breastfeeding”, by Sabrina Scanlan

a blessed year of feeding
my babe at my breast
has changed me forever
at my baby’s behest

though my milk has just stopped
like I’ve turned off a tap
I can still feel her suckle
her little pout lap

at my breast, at my chest,
at my heart, at my soul,
I offered her everything:
she swallowed me whole

suckle and suckle
drop after drop
she took what she needed
yet knew when to stop

we lived symbiosis—
her yang to my yin
our bodies two curves
of a singular skin

but she grew & she grew
and I felt the time spin
she dawdled off crawling
and I knew it within:

she was ready to give me
some time to myself
for lips had grown lazy
as she rolled off herself

away from my breast
and off in a climb
chasing adventure
her own toddler time

away from my arms
and maternal embrace
her tiny hands shoved me
away from her face

so slowly, my mammaries
decided to dry
and thusly, my tear ducts
decided to cry

I cannot believe
she is no longer there
our bodies’ bond broken
with little fanfare

she is not at my breast
though she’ll be in my heart
more than marital vows
beyond death do us part

now she stands on her own
(with a bit of support)
and she feeds herself, too
(so I’d like to report)

but the clock’s grueling glare
has now ceased in a sense
I’m no longer a slave
to the pump & the breast

the time is now ours
to do as we please
clapping and laughing
and dancing with ease

I will give her my everything
she will swallow me whole
a mother’s duality
two bodies, one sou