DEATH Poem: Dejected and Pensive, by Becky Jayne

I cannot let it be July again,
So my suicide date is set to June 30th.
I’ll write you one final love note darling,
For I’ve learnt that it’s just courteous.
I know you’re figuring out how to erase me,
So slowly you’re rubbing out all our memories.
And I don’t know why you treated me
Like a placeholder, like I’d always stay.
So give me a sign or a reason
Of why you couldn’t have been better to me.
For I don’t know what punctures my chest more,
I don’t know what makes my heart contract faster,
The fact that the whole time you were pretending I was her
Or the fact that our contract ended like the rip of a plaster.

You cannot live through it again,
So your suicide date is set to day you forgot to tell me.
And I know if you depart, half the blame will be on me,
For I wrestle with the penitence of denying you the right
To decimate my unconditional admiration and fight.
And it tore you in two, darling it shows all on your face
That you strive to strike me back, can’t leave me with grace.

Now your narcotic behaviour is ripping my seams,
And rusting the gold that used to tie us together.
I always thought it would be us, forever.
But how naive I was; your grail was to leave us severed.
And I truly wish you the best, I truly wish you’d stayed.
But with the thought of love, I’m back to being afraid,
For it was only your shade that I would have painted and framed.
And it was only for you that I’d let my walls cascade.

Author: poetryfest

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