TRAGIC Poem: Naïveté of first love and other horror stories, by Corey Randolph

obsession
you were not my first,
but you might’ve been the worst.

excitement
sneaking over to your dorm
at 2 am to pleasure you

i wanted to be wanted
and you gave me that
for a month or two

they told me you were no good
they told me what you did
and i didn’t listen

i wasn’t using my head
or my heart either.
i don’t know what i was thinking with,
might not have been thinking at all

clandestine meetings,
skin against skin, teeth sinking in
rough and hard and exciting and terrifying

i thought i wanted you.
i thought i was happy,
drunk on your attention.
i thought you were the best
the world had to offer

ridiculous
the naïveté of a boy
who had never been wanted in his life

i thought bruises and bites and force and fighting were the language of sex and love
i thought love was supposed to hurt
i didn’t know love could feel good
or rather, i thought your love felt good because it felt like what i knew