GRIEF Poem: A Week in Widowhood, by Raymond Berthelot & Alexis Bennett

This week in widowhood
I ran pass forty gates to the connecting flight
a return to nothingness
holding back the tears
each a reminder that you were not there

This week in widowhood
I walked into our very empty house
once our home
now, even the cats don’t reside there anymore

This week in widowhood
Insomnia has returned
and I’ve forgotten how to even take a nap

This week in widowhood
I was brave, and went to a doctor’s appointment alone
I even returned your stash of unused prescription drugs
each also lonely for you

This week in widowhood
I thought about returning to New York
where I was sure to feel your presence again at the Met
I posted something to a widow message board instead
the message board swiftly becoming
a new friend

This week in widowhood
I traded in your vehicle
and found buried
your glasses, and old school ID, and a pack of cinnamon gum
that cried with me

This week in widowhood
My father helped me purchase a new car
one without your smell
one that I could not bring myself to drive
my father drove while I stared, exhausted

I survived another week
I tell myself this
I’m a real tough kid and I can handle my shit
even with a broken heart