GRIEF Poem: If a little late, I am sorry, by Joshua Downes

I am sorry,
that though I didn’t always know what to give you for birthdays and holidays,
Going in shops, I instantly know if you would’ve liked something now.

Now that there is no way to give it to you.

I am sorry,
that though I didn’t always feel like I knew you very well or was close to you,
My tears now falling make it clear that we were close.

Now that we are separated by a distance never to be traversed.

I am sorry,
that though I didn’t always feel we had much in common, and often disagreed with you,
I see now we did have things in common and, while we disagreed, what does that matter now?

Now that forgiveness or reconciliation are no longer possible.

You had asked me to remember you not in the angelic light the dead are often remembered in, but as the person you were, with flaws, still human.

And I will.
I only wish we had had time if not to be perfect people, to fix some of the flaws in our relationship, grandson to grandmother.

But since perfection does not exist, I must be content with the one we had, with all its flaws.

The imperfect but no less loving is all we have in the end.

And I am glad of even that.