FREE VERSE Poem: Fast food for children, by Katie PFEIFER

Hey
Did you hear about the new Restaurant?
No?
Well, it’s Rich McCormick’s new place
It’s a new fast food place
Amazing service
With no adult employees
All kids aged three and up
As long as you’re potty trained
You can work there.

When customers come in
They greeted with a five-year-old cashier
I hear she’s getting better at counting to ten
But she has experience using a tablet
So she is good at getting your order right with each click
Just don’t expect any change back
Because she likes the feel of change going up her nose.

We have three eight year olds in the back
They’re flipping burgers
They haven’t been able to see over the stove yet
And we’re still currently working on them
Not using the spatula to scratch their butts
At least they learned not to put their hands on the stove.

Now the newest recruit
She’s three years old

Our counters are sticky from soda
because she can’t hold the cup yet
but she tells us she can do it
oh, and I hope you like floaties in your diet coke
it’s booger flavored.

Ah,
My chicken nuggets are ready
They’re cold and with bite marks
Just the way our fry cook like it

Need to complain to the manger?
I wouldn’t bother
He will spit raspberries at you
And call you a poopy head
While burping in your face.

Doesn’t sound realistic?
A little more realistic
Than running the streets of New York to pick berries
Or throw an imaginary newspaper from their bikes
At least if kids worked in fast food they could get a meal
Since you’re determined to take away free meals from school.

Hey Rich Mccormick,
With your fake smile
And fake car salesmen suit
I have a better idea for you
How about you go home and watch reruns of leave it to beaver
And dream of the idea of the 1950s that didn’t exist
While everyone living in 2025 make the decisions