Read Poem: A Lesson Learned, by Chad Robertson Barry

At fifteen, forced to stay up all night drinking and smoking was hell in every way. It was time for my newspaper route and there was over 4 feet of snow to contend with. Folding the papers and bagging them up my younger siblings had their own to do. The snow was too deep to ride bicycles, so it looked like trudging through the drifts was the only way. There was no time to waste, and I had to get on the road to get the papers delivered before the school bell rang. I was on the diving team and had practice that morning after the paper route. I finally got done on the route and made it back home to change out of the snowmobile suit and into school clothes. The day was like any other day, kids being kids picking on me threatening me constantly. From one bully to another I warned them to back off and leave me alone. They were very persistent. I went to diving team practice that morning, I was good, and all the other team members knew it. I could do an inward one and a half which no one else could do. There was a competition coming up at the end of the week and we were to travel out of town for the weekend. I was looking forward to it in every way.

After practice, I came down from the fourth floor to the third floor for my science class and on the stairs well a big brute of a boy held me while the other preppy boy swung and hit me in the face. As soon as he let go of me, I lunged at the preppy boy and proceeded to pound the living hell out of him. I was not going to stop till he stopped moving. I was wailing hits left and right no one could stop me no one wanted to stop me. Finally, two teachers separated us and pulled us in different directions. I was livid and ready to give them what they deserved. It takes a big man to have a buddy hold down someone while you hit them in the face, and they are defenseless. We both went to the principal’s office and got suspended for two days. How was I going to explain this one to the tyrant at home who is drunk on the gills from a seven-day binge? How was I going to survive this one? How would I even approach the tyrant at home just waiting for a reason to explode to put blame waiting to attack for no reason at all If there were no reason, he would surely make one up.

I left the school on my bike riding around for a little while stopping at gardens along the way picking flowers for my stepmom who was at home alone with the tyrant. Red roses were her favorite ones. Finally got home and came up the back porch steps going by the old Maytag washer machine with its ringer wheel. It was from the sixties and worked great, we used it often. I came into the kitchen and could see the tyrant’s feet hanging off the edge of the couch in the front room he was passed out cold thank God. I gave Mom the flowers and she kissed me on the forehead saying get a vase. Everyone tips their toes around the house till the tyrant gets up for work on the night shift. Then we cleared out till he had gone off to work. He was a cook at the nearby golf course. In the evening times, I would sit and roll up smoke for mom.

While doing that we all sat around the tube watching Mash and the regular shows on Friday nights. The weekends were quiet the tyrant would be gone all weekend. Leaving some peace in the old house. There was supposed to be a carnival coming through this weekend in the field behind our house. All the kids in the neighborhood would envy us being in our backyard. On and off I would see this beautiful woman riding a big white horse in the field behind the house. She would often stop and ask me if I would like a ride so far, I have said no but next time she asks I am going to say yes let do it. Sure, enough she came running up through the field on that white horse like a goddess. She pulled my arm, and I was up on the horse behind her in a split second. We rode off into the wind and what a ride it was, I’ve never felt a woman’s body so close to mine ever, not at fifteen. It was like a dream I was in heaven.

We rode all around town, and everyone saw us together. It will be the talk of the school come Monday and boy would I love it. After a bit we ended up at this small apartment attached to a garage, it was just a studio apartment. She ran inside and came out with this baby boy in her arms. Blew me away she had a son, He was not even a year old. I was amazed what would she want with me if she had a son with some other man. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It scared the hell out of me I didn’t know what to say or do. He sure was a beautiful blue-eyed blonde-haired boy. I suggested I really should head back home by now. She road me back to the house in the field and dropped me off on my back porch. Just before letting go of my arm to release me to the ground, she planted a kiss on my lips that exploded in my head. I saw shooting stars and streaks of lightning it was out of this world. Never felt anything like that ever. Then off into the wind, she road waving goodbye to me with her long brown hair blowing in the breeze. I was speechless.

The next day was Saturday, getting up early for the newspaper route was automatic, the snow had melted some and the field behind the house was being prepared for the fair. I got the two youngest boys their breakfast of milk and bread with a little sugar. It was all we had. I stood for a cup of hot tea with saltines with a little sugar on them. I headed out the door after folding the newspapers and loading the bags. It was bitterly cold out and snowing on top of that. The roads had been plowed so I could ride my bike this time. After forty-nine stops I would head back home climb under the blankets and cozy up to the cat that slept with me every night. I slept that whole afternoon into the early evening when I heard a horse in the back of the house. It was her Adana, she was back on the white horse with jeans on and a flannel shirt her long brown hair hanging loosely down over her shoulders. She was back and gesturing for me to come and jump on the horse with her again. I was in for the ride of my life this time around I knew it before I even got on the horse.

We rode everywhere that we could, and we ended up at her apartment again. She tied the horse up out back to a tree and asked if I wanted a drink of soda, I was thirsty and went inside for the soda. I went into the very small bathroom to wash my hands and face when the door flew open. She closed the door behind her, slamming me against the wall she planted a kiss on my lips like I’ve never experienced before I was in shock and pleasure at the same time. Before I knew it, we were naked on the floor of that small bathroom. I guess you could say I lost my virginity that day. I fell in love I would go on to see her every day for several months to come. I did my paper route every a.m. and then would be with her and the baby for a couple of hours then I would go off to school. I would pick roses on my route to bring to her every day. Eventually, I quit school and got two jobs, one as a pizza prep person and the second one as a nighttime maintenance person in a Walmart store graveyard shift. This went on for some time. I was getting exhausted when I came home from one job, I would fall asleep playing with the baby and then be off to the graveyard shift till 8 a.m. and home again for a few hours’ sleep and back to work again. She started going out with her friends on the weekends, leaving me home with the baby. I knew this was going to be the end of it. I soon it came to be the truth of it. She had found someone else throwing my clothes out in the snow on January 15th, my birthday saying it was over. It killed me I cried for days I gave up the jobs and hitchhiked back to my hometown up in North Pennsylvania. I was taught a huge lesson during this period and that is never trust one who holds all the cards and holds your feelings like your hand close to the vest. Do not ever go all in. Always leave an out leave a backup have your own best interest at heart in your heart.

By: Chad Robertson Barry

February 18th, 2025