BODY IMAGE Poem: The Weight I Bear, by J. Edwards Holt

I used to run without a care,
So light upon my feet,
A boy who never had to stare
At mirrors in defeat.

But sickness came, and with it stole
The freedom that I knew.
They said the cure would take control,
And I had no say to choose.

A simple pill, they promised me,
Would help to make me whole.
But what they didn’t let me see
Were the ways it took its toll.

My face grew round, my hands felt thick,
My shirts became too tight.
I watched my body change so quick,
No effort could fight.

At first, I swore it wasn’t real,
That maybe it would pass.
But soon, I learned the weight I’d feel
Would root itself so fast.

And when I walked inside the halls,
Their laughter found my name,
Their whispers bouncing off the walls
And branding me with shame.

I tried to hide inside my clothes,
To shrink where none could see,
But every look, and every pose,
Felt foreign now to me.

I’d hear them mock the way I ate,
As if I had a choice.
They’d say my body bore the weight
Of my own selfish voice.

They didn’t see the nights I spent
Just staring at my skin,
Wishing I could still present
The boy I’d once been in.

They didn’t hear my mother’s voice
Saying, Health is what should matter.
But still, I felt I had no choice,
My heart still torn and tattered.

I clenched my teeth, I learned to smile,
To laugh along as well,
But every joke just stacked the pile
Of things I’d never tell.

I longed to run like I had done,
But moving felt so wrong.
The weight I bore had dimmed the sun
And stole where I belonged.

And yet, despite the pain inside,
The stares that left me weak,
I knew that I would have to find
The strength I couldn’t speak.

I wasn’t just the boy they saw,
A frame too large to love—
I was a soul, a beating heart,
A mind still strong enough.

So slowly, though the days were long,
I learned to lift my chin.
The weight was there, but I was strong,
And shame would never win.

Their words could never break my core,
Though bruises still remain.
My body’s more than what they swore—
It’s mine, despite the pain.

And maybe I will never be
The boy I was before,
But now, at least, I finally see—
I’m worth so much more