DEATH Poem: Vows at Seventeen and Their Revocation, by Aviva Derenowski

I vowed to my father at his open grave
not to trust another
for others will leave me bleeding

I vowed to my father at his open grave
to lock my heart
for others will leave me bleeding

I vowed to my father at his open grave
to voice my truth
for others will leave me bleeding

I vowed to my father at his open grave
to help the voiceless
when others have left them bleeding

*

When Father died and I was seventeen
I knew he left me
abandoned deserted me
his child

Fifty years later I recognized
He didn’t leave me
he died
just like all beings do

I opened up to trust a teacher
started meditating daily
and achieved joy I never knew
delving into wisdom

I opened up to love my husband
giving him my heart knowing
he’ll stay with me
until his time has come

I opened up to see all colors
not just blacks and grays
vibrating with all beings
soaking up the now and now and now