TRAGIC Poem: Let it Burn, by Sofia Davis

I was living hell,
not a metaphor, or a dream,
No this was real,
the kind that brands your bones,
a building caught on fire with no emergency exit.

Stuck in rooms that never felt like mine,
stained walls, ceilings too low,
air so thick, it filled up my lungs,
drowned me from the inside out,
shoved its fingers down my throat
until I was throwing up rage.

Sinking into corners,
pushing against walls,
always breaking things—
myself, mostly.

I wanted to claw my way out of my own skin,
crawl out,
but there was nowhere to go.

So, I smashed things,
just to watch my hands bleed.
Stuffed my mouth with pills,
chased them with liquor.

I broke people,
wore them down,
spent years running,
slamming doors.
I fought with anyone,
anywhere.

I wanted love, I did,
but love tasted like rust in my mouth,
so I bit down until I bled.
I burned bridges,
pushed people so hard they never turned back.
I ruined hands that tried to hold me,
made them regret ever reaching out.

I hated everything,
everyone.
the smell of fresh air made me sick,
the sight of people smiling—
made me want to tear my face off.

I hated Christmas lights, birthday candles,
holidays were just reminders,
I had survived another year
when I wasn’t supposed to.

I chased destruction like a maniac,
I ruined everything good,
just to see what was left underneath.

Nothing was left.
Just anger,
panic that I could never outrun.

Prisoner of my own thoughts,
fighting battles that never ended.
I was running from everything,
and running toward nothing.

I could feel the rot in my bones,
but I couldn’t stop.
I didn’t know how.

In the quiet moments—
when the fight paused,
when I stood still
and realized I wasn’t winning.
I wasn’t even fighting.
I was just falling apart,
piece by piece.
But I didn’t know how to stop.
I didn’t know how to put it back together.

So I let it burn.
I let everything burn.
Because that’s what I was made for,
to destroy,
to break,
to let everything collapse
until there was nothing left but the ashes.

And even then,
even as everything crumbled,
I didn’t know how to let go.
I just stood there,
waiting for something to end me