TRAGIC Poem: The Weight of it All, by Ava Lockette

The weight of it all
is crushing me.

Like a boulder,
I’m hoisting
over my broad shoulders.

Bending my back,
burning up my arms,
collapsing me like a foldable picnic table.
Scratches coating my neck.
Being forced to my knees
that are touching my shoulders.

Getting crushed,
from the weight of it all.

My face is beet red.
My hair, untameable.
My feet are sliding on the ground,
kicking up dirt and rocks
into my face,
my vision.

My lungs are collapsing
inhaling the dust.
My head is resting on my knees.

The weight of it all
is crushing me!

I wish I was strong enough!
Strong enough to lift this boulder
off of my shoulders.

Useless! Why am I not strong enough?
To simply bend my elbows and lift the rock
up into the sky
and place it down.

To get to breathe
like I needed permission.

Released,
from the weight of it all.

If only I was strong enough,
I wouldn’t be getting crushed.

My face is wet,
Dripping and inflamed.
From the sweat, from the pain, from the tears,
from the heat of the fears, from the pile of this mess
That was never mine, but now it’s my crime.
All of the blood that’s been drawn,

I can’t be saved from the weight of it all.

I’m afraid it’s gonna win.
It’s gonna beat me,

and beat me, and beat me.
Until I’m only in the breeze.
Until I’m only what the animals feed on.

Why can’t I be bold enough
to tell the world not to touch me.

Why can’t I be fierce enough,
brave enough,
to force the boulder to roll down my back.

To free me.
To get to rest.

I deserve to rest.
I can’t rest.
I have a boulder on my back.

The weight of it all on my back.
Twisting my arms, grasping so tightly.
Paining my neck, trying to watch it
all happen.
Wobbly legs, loss of balance,
breath.

It’s crushing me!
The weight of all of it.

Maybe if i was in a sturdier position
I could get a better grip on the boulder.
If my feet were securely placed.
If I had the time to do this right.

Who am I doing this for?
Enduring this for?
Hurting and sore.

Is it for me?
That just can’t be.
If it were up to me,
this wouldn’t be.

The weight of it all
is crushing me.