ELEGY Poem: Jimmy Bell Rings The Bell, by Rebekah Bell

You make me think.
What kind of person
people are when
they’re not alive-
in the body,
when blood evaporates
and eyes can’t substitute a mouth’s smile.

I can’t make any
interpretations of you,
and it’s pretty upsetting.
I’d like to stare into
your eyes
and spend at least one
thanksgiving dinner with you.

I’d like to read Bible passages
with you, as you teach me.
The same teachings you
taught my older brother, Jacob.
The ones that made him weep
as a man.

Did you weep?
Did you lose your oxygen to where you had to yawn in stress?
Did I inherit that from you?
Did you kill a person when you were alive?
Ever shot a gun?
Did you ever cheat? On a test, on your wife, gambling, in death?
What was your favorite word?
What was your favorite type of cloud?

Who were you
that made family stories so memorable.
You sound so noble
and wholesome. A memory with
loss.
Who were you that makes
me believe that I’d like you.
I don’t even like my
parents, but you raised
one of them.
A grandpa, a friend.
A person I’ve never met and will never know.

Nevertheless, a person I love.
With no meeting
besides a hospital visit
and a funeral arrangement,
you’ve changed my life.
In death.

You’ve done more for me
than anyone who’s living ever has,
while never crossing the border
of eternity
to
get to me.

You’ve done more for me
than my last name
will ever provide for me.
So, I’ll ring the Army Bell
you left hanging on the wall
in your home. The house grandma
survives in.

I ring it till my ears
run in red.
My cardiovascular system feeling stuck
like yours did.
My grandpa- a commander of the living
and commanded by God.
To come back to him
earlier than us humans
wanted him to.

He never rang the bell
on Earth. Jimmy was humble enough.
But I always hope that
he got to ring a bell in Heaven.
Humble to meet the Lord our God.
With the same direction he projected
when others were called.

He was called and he’s helping to call.

Ring. Ring. Ring.