i often wonder am i a cheater like her that when i vow i break it silently i am a rivers reflection of her everytime my hair grows longer my cheek bones rise i can no longer lie about my genetics our faces never seperate if i am a cheater does it spread like blood? does it resent the tests? why would i slice the solution ? why should i cut out? people. what does lust make us search for? i undress a married man with my eyes. i guess things glisten brighter in the dark. people even. it may be the vessel out. away from yourself. is it a test? because she failed. as i pass my grades. i bury my head in words of history. to the memory of being hidden in the back seat. to be rewarded. in helping her cheat. don’t tell daddy. duct taped over my mouth. she hands me pretty plastic to play with. while she plays with a friend of his. young. shiney. twenty three. eleven years difference. brand new to her scent. i only remembered yellow street lights. dad worked the night shift. for more money. by her request. what if i am a cheater? does it make me equal to her? as i swallow another cookie dough blizzard. among the wreckage of my house. made. dingy. in a dark blue. subaru. don’t tell daddy. i hope i pass the test. i hope her lust. greets her. with a dull kiss. and i hope she knows. she took
away. the shine from my eyes. lebotomized my dad’s sensitivity. bankrupted my grandma’s generosity. slit the wrists of my grandpa’s warm welcome. spat in the pale face of my late lola. and with their bodies buried. i am homeless. on the streets of broken concrete. with blood in the streams. of memories. nuked out of existence. daughter of a volcanic. eruption. with my naked scene dolls. broken bratz. bare barbies. told to play pretend. in a nameless cemetery.
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