sometimes i wonder if i am a barbie
a figment of a person
pretend
and the little girl playing with me
is bashing my head against a wall
or drowning me in a bathtub
i can’t figure it out
but it doesn’t feel like i am my own
somehow moved through this world
despite fighting against current after current
constantly thrown another curveball
pitted in the stomach, blow after blow
caught in life’s undertow
my face melting from the heat of it all
now disfigured and unwanted
stuffed into a drawer, forgotten
body aching, bones shaking
but i’m not real
so what’s it matter what i feel