47th President Poem: CLOWN KING, by Arlene LaHera

t wasn’t very long ago, and it wasn’t far away.
This happened in America, just the other day.
A clown ran for President, and when the day was done,
And all the votes were counted
We found the clown had won.
Where did he come from?
One story is told, a Clown Car turned over,
Spilling clowns in the road.
His face was bright orange, his eyes were white circles,
He wore a long red tie and his jacket was purple.
Cotton candy was spun into a nest on his head,
Some days it was yellow, other days it was red.
He had a terrible temper. Very bad for a clown.
He was mean and ornery, and he put people down.
But he knew some clown tricks and he wore the right clothes.
He had all the makeup and a big red nose.
He sold hats and sneakers from the back of a Rover,
And he could lean really far forward without falling over.
Eventually the people deplored his behavior,
His unfunny ways, his asking for favors.
Many of them began turning away
And they voted him out, but he wanted to stay.
So, he gathered his friends, and he had quite a few,
And he said to those there, here’s what we’ll do.
When the time comes to leave, I just won’t do it.
I’ll stick in my place like I was glued to it.
Here is the message I want you to bring:
Tell the people to make me their King!
The Generals were horrified!
He expects to be glorified?
He colored the flag wrong! He botched up the anthem.
His only real skill was in throwing those tantrums.
He’s not related to anyone royal. Even to us, we can’t say he’s loyal.
But none of it matters, because here’s the thing,
The United States does not have a King.
We’re a Republic, we have a constitution you see,
That prohibits granting titles to nobility.
But there was no persuading this fake Clown King,
There was no convincing him to do the right thing.
When he was asked to step down,
He said “maybe” like a baby and threw ketchup around!
“Our time here is over” his Vice President said,
To which the clown King replied
“Off with his head!”
“Oh, what have we done” said a woman named Lizzy
And she wasn’t alone. They were all in a tizzy.
Our last King was George the third
And even George got the word
When we said, “Hey George there’s something lacking,
We’re paying you taxes and getting nothing back
And so, we hope you don’t get offended,
But we’re declaring our independence.”
It was July fourth, seventeen seventy-six,
When we and the monarchy called it quits.
There was a big battle, you know the story –
In the end, we raised the Old Glory
We made England take their flag home
And told King George to leave us alone.
So, you see Mr. Clown, here is the thing.
Even if we wanted to, we could not make you King.
Our Constitution won’t let us do it.
So, transfer the power, let’s get to it.
In the home of the free and the brave,
Our ancestors fought, their lives they gave
To guarantee us just one thing.
Nowhere in America will there ever be a King.

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Author: poetryfest

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