PARODY Poem: Country Love Song, by Mark Thomas

I’m going to hurt you by hurting me,
I want the world to understand my misery.

I’m going to pull the useless heart out of my chest
and drop it in a frying pan with oil and chives unless,
you reconsider protocols aborting care
and suture up my empty corpse with angel’s hair.

I am going to lop off little toesies one by one,
And toss them all at happy couples having fun,
Until you face reality and just admit it,
confess your love before I plumb run out of digits.

I will hang my kidneys from a silver wire
and pull out my adenoids with tungsten pliers.
If you persist in thinking that we are just friends
I’ll use a platinum hook on my vas deferens.

I’m going to hurt you by hurting me,
I want to shock the world into some sympathy

I’ll prise out a section of my lower bowel,
flatten out my bladder with a mason’s trowel.
If you won’t glove-up and then excise my pain
I’ll throw what’s left of me, underneath a train.

I’m going to hurt you by hurting me,
so you’ll see things my way and love me faithfully.

You won’t think I’m needy and emotionally unstable,
you’ll pull my twitching body off the vivisection table.
You’ll hold my stumps and swear that you’re forever mine,
and stitch my bits and pieces with the ties that bind.