GRIEF Poem: Woke, by Aneski Ana Kemsit

I woke up dead today.
I woke up with
my eyes still closed,
my heart was barely beating,
my thoughts were
darker than night,
and I could not
feel my face.

I felt like a living
corpse trying to breathe
with no lungs,
because I was tired of
all the pain that had come
and chased my dreams away.
I woke up dead today.

I woke up wanting
to die today.
My blues had consumed me.
My hurt had engulfed me
in a thousand tears,
enough to fill the Black Sea.
There was a darkness
that had come over me.
I woke up wanting to scream,
but could only moan
from feeling all alone.
Depression had settled
in my chest,
right next to my heart,
and made an enemy of
the love that I had for myself.
I woke up dead today.

I barely slept the
night before, but
somehow my physical
was able to endure,
just long enough for
the moon to set and
the sun to rise.
But not without the
need to cry and
oh, how I cried.
I wailed for all the
times I stayed strong and
no one knew deep inside
I was gone.
I poured out droplets
of abandonment, disappointment abuse and broken promises.
A merry go round
of again and again.
I cried until I wanted to die.
I was on the verge
of suicide,
but then I realized

I woke up today,
without an alarm,
in a warm bed,
my household unharmed…
somehow through all the good.