FABLE Poem: MILF: Man, I Love Frogs, by Haley Martin-Sherman

Thought I was ready for love
Time for my fairytale story—
Ball gowns, slippers, and doves.
Thought the frog I swiped right on
One day a prince would become.

Croaked all the promises
I’d been longing to hear–
So I put on red lipstick,
Donned a lace gown,
Set the trap.
Sealed the marriage contract
With a lipstick autograph.

At first, I didn’t notice
The magic wearing thin.
When I broke out in rashes,
He bought cream for my skin.
He said I just needed glasses—
It was only my eyes
It never was him.

But one day I finally
Awoke from the spell:
True love is not magic.
It’s never enough on its own.
Can’t transform reality—
Saw the frog in true form,
Not the prince
In my fairytale dreams.

Too tired and empty
To keep playing pretend.
I’d handled frogs before;
I knew what to do.
Went back to biology,

Sliced him open in two.
Saved only four parts,
Threw the rest in the waste.
He truly was hazardous—
Let the Bunsen burner blaze.

Can’t go back in time,
Can’t take away the kisses.
But I’ll sit down as I eat
This plate full of leftovers—
Double breaded and pan-fried
In my seasoned cast iron.

Man, I love frogs.