PERSON Poem: Reminisce, by Britney Daniel

I sit and I ponder yet I also wonder in these reminiscing thoughts of everything that broke me . As if I was tree in fall losing my leafs and branches slowly … I still have sleepless nights when I lay there and wonder what did I do to deserve this type of sinister type of love from you . I guess I will never find the correct remedy nor melody to this madness…

You must of loved the bittersweet taste of my misery . While you watched me from a far . Just like a that tree in fall , slowly watching my leafs change colors and become more brittle. Slowly watching them crumble just like the branches breaking away only a few usually stay . You must of hated when winter finally let up and that cold brisk air started to disappear. A gentle warmth crept back, promising fragile hope amid ruin.

Yet every time dawn shimmered on the horizon, the fear of another frost lingered, tightening its hold around my worn heart. Still, I gathered the fallen pieces, uncertain if they could ever be made whole like it once was before . If I could I would wish upon every shooting star. I have yet to see one, its seeming the night sky remains stubbornly empty of any celestial hope, denying me even the smallest spark of granted wishes. I’m
starting to feel more hollow .

I sit and ponder, quiet and still . My mind a storm I cannot will. Each thought a shard , each breath a sigh . Of all the ways you slowly watched me die . I lay awake through nights so long , still wondering where I went wrong . What cruel design, what twisted fate could have birthed a love laced with hate ? I can hear you slithering in the distance , I should have known it was you from a far . Just waiting for me to break , fall
to my knees begging and pleading for the sweet bliss taste of the warmth of the light that I so dreadfully need to survive.

As the hollowness begins to grow slowly seeping into my heart . I plea while I’m down on my wounded knees begging for one small sign of hope, but the darkness answers only with silence as if even compassion has turned away. Still, somewhere deep beneath the ache, I sense a fragile ember that refuses to die, stubbornly guarding its warmth against the encroaching chill.

The weight of reality crushed down on my shoulders with every passing second. How can one pull themselves out of this darkness. The flashlight is slowly flickering I keep tapping it and shaking it hoping that the light wont go away . Hoping it will guide me through this . Please just give me one sign of hope. Yet that ember, flickering weakly, endures the relentless storm of sorrow.

~ Britney Daniel ~