BALLAD Poem: Dirty Lies, by Ayesha Montgomery

I believed the dirty lines
Fell into a sea filled with red lies
To hold onto words that have no bite
Tucking myself in only to experience discomfort at night

Your imagination is getting away from you
She’s just a friend
Trust me, I would never do you wrong
Crossed fingers hidden at the end

Rolling schemes tucked into neatly placed words
Trust, love, believe
And all the hopeful verbs
If only they meant more to him

A week later, I broke the vase
I saw receipts for two
At our favorite place
The same nights you came home two hours, too late

No lipstick on your collar
But guilt marked your face
Did I change over the years?
Did you believe that I could be replaced?

Don’t give up on me, smeared on his lips
My mind floats above the clouds
I used to bare the pain with silent indignation
And tear filled eyes

Facebook tied woven stories together
Like puzzles freshly solved
You destroyed our connection
You broke unspoken laws

We’ve never been perfect
But I expected more
I don’t want to be without you
But my heart is already out the door

Packed bags, new gym membership
And the addition of a new black dress
I won’t mourn us
There is only the loss of trust

Are you gonna miss me?
Walking around in your shirt
Remember how I used to serve dinner after dessert?
How I held your hand when you needed support?

No matter the situation
I put our love first
I treated you with kindness
That I never received in return

I hope your heart aches
May your chest burn
One day you will search for me
Like peace in the midst of a storm

But I won’t respond
Because for me it was a lesson learned
The connection is gone
It was easier to let go then to hold on