DRUGS Poem: Snap, by Darcey Youngman

I could feel love slipping, as your hand didn’t find mine.
I wore your favourite dress.
Low cut, see through.
You scrolled through your phone,
Reading funny tweets.
Everything was blurry, but you.
You were always the focus.

You told me you never got jealous,
You’ve never been that way.
I was hanging out with my friends,
And you’d turn to me and say

“They really love you, don’t they?”

You ate in a taught way,
You ate like you put on clothes.
Step by step, carefully, clean.
You watched me eat like a critic,
I dropped three sizes in six months.

You were indulging, until indulgence turned into addiction.
I asked you to stop, slow down,
Stop wasn’t in your dictionary,
Neither was No,
Cheeks swollen, fainting spells, scratch marks all down my leg,
I lost you, you ran and disappeared, coming back with
Bulged eyes, and a predatory interest.

I snapped.

I hear stories of you now, stories that make me realise
That you had an illness that I couldn’t cure.
I was happy, and that annoyed you, you hated it, hated that I
Was happy.

I hope one day you snap,
And realise,
You should be happy too.