That pink hair conditioner
“It’s gone”
And I’m empty
You took my wide-eyed gaze
On a wild ride
Through little European streets
That glowed like starlit starlight
And under lampposts
You taught me how to laugh,
Held me in your arms as I cried
Said we were forever
But forever last for never
Now you don’t call.
Or pick up the phone
And here I am all alone
Where we used to walk
When everything felt safe
And you didn’t want to just be my “European romance”
On that beach or in my bed
Well now I’m driving on a country road
Blasting the radio
Entranced by light pollution
Streetlights against starlight, on powerlines!
I never said that bottle of hair conditioner’s empty
I said “it’s gone” just like you, just like me, just like her—
Oh wait, there’s another her?
Well, how be that?
I saw it coming,
Oh no,
This isn’t my first rodeo
You never even had to say a word
Oh, you didn’t want to hurt me?
Well half-hearted conversations
And one-word replies
Don’t do that
Relationships change
It’s fine.
I gave you the better part of three years
2
But it’s fine
You made me cry in a Meijer’s
But it’s fine
I couldn’t see through the tears
I bought nonalcoholic alcohol
And dairy free Ben and Jerries
But it’s fine
I had to slink into the only beer joint in town
That wouldn’t tell my parents I was buying
And I’m 32!
And it’s all because of you
But it’s fine
I knew you’d move on
I’m so happy for you
I bet she’s great
I bet I’ve seen her pop up a few 100 times
On my Facebook
You two will make such a cute couple!
But did I really have to be the one to say “let’s take a break”
You can’t say petty things about my face
Way to make me hate her when it’s you who made me spit word vomit
Because I don’t care if you’ve moved on
We’re over
Probably my star-spangled banner
Will never meet
Your little European street
Again
I really don’t care.
It just kills me that you moved on first
To be left behind? Below? Forgotten? Erased?
Oh, I draw the line there.
And I don’t even know what you were thinking
Hell, I don’t know what I was thinking
You’re not mine
You’re not for me
I knew that even before you did
I wrote a horror story about you
I wrote a poem about you
It got published!
It was a damn good poem
3
That was our relationship.
So now I’ll just stay drunk in my bed
Writing poetry with a fancy pen
I never drink unelss its fall
But it’s February
And I’m an English major misspelling “unless”
What did it all mean?
The conditioner is gone
Our relationship is gone
Europe is gone
Those puppy dog socks you got me?
Holes
I know it’s the memories that are supposed to matter
But what good are they if they’re enclosed
Compartmentalized
In the sublime past of a substandard life?
Is my open back account
Of foreign currency
Just a practice in futility
Was that all we were?
A means to an end?
Why bother when this was the end?
Drunken, wasted, pointless
As a facial peel in the shower
What hurts the most
Is I already said goodbye
To you as a lover
2 damn times
But you know what they say
Three’s the charm
And it’s okay
My door’s always open
We have birthdays, holidays,
When we see stuff in the grocery store that reminds us of us
But otherwise,
There’s no us.
I’ll put this in math terms for you
You + Her = a nice neat prime number
Her + You Me = a quick mess÷
If that’s too hard
4
Let me put this in English terms
I don’t want to be the antagonist
Of a love story
In which you’re the protagonist
It’s fine
I don’t miss you
Focus on falling in love
You love with your whole heart
I don’t miss you as a lover
My mistake was when I started
Seeing you as a friend
But my mistake,
We can’t be friends
Because we have a past
And who am I kidding?
No one has a friend they talk to 7 days a week
Besides, it doesn’t really matter
You can’t spell friend without “end”
So, all the castles, soft words,
And more than borderline illegality
Were for nothing
But it’s fine.
POETRY FESTIVAL. Submit to site for FREE. Submit for actor performance. Submit poem to be made into film. 