GRIEF Poem by Liam Whitney

They say you’re all consuming
That you hit like waves
But it seems you’re always with me
In a sort of foggy haze
Looming over my shoulder
All my waking hours
My body may be mine
But my brain is more like ours
My connection to myself
My confidence my pride
Seems to dissipate
With every ambulance ride
I remember when you were loudest
This most recent time
I was sitting in my doctors office
As I watched my mother cry
I held back my own tears
I didn’t want to make it worse
The ride home was in her subaru
But it felt more like a hearse
Pain is such an awful thing
That plagues me to this day
Physical and mental
Each day I fade away
My thousand dollar wheelchair
Carries me through each wave
But I still can’t seem to shake the fog
That lives with me each day
I can’t shake the voice
The knowledge of what I wont become
The mourning of what “could have been”
The glimpse of hope to not succumb
To the darkness that you bring
But until I do or don’t
My little shoulder devil
We’ll grieve the life i could have had
When my head is all but level
It may come in waves for others
Hit them like a mallet
But for me it’s always there in case I’m too hopeful
Grief will cleanse my palette

Author: poetryfest

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