Author: poetryfest

Hey there one and all
Welcome back
To the warmly lit space
Of our learning nook

So take a seat
Get comfortable
Allow yourself some peace of mind
Because today
We will be talking about something
Enormous
And it may take some explaining
Here or there
Just to contemplate the gandure
Of the cosmos
That’s right friend today we will be talking
About outer space.
So sit back relax, and enjoy our programming
On space

Space is an endlessly expanding void
And we’re all going to die in it.

Alright, we are going to take a break now
Ponder what we’ve learned
Maybe grab yourself a tea, or other bevrage
If you have a friend nearby
Maybe ask them how they are doing
Take your time
We are in no rush

When you are all ready
We can pick back up

Here’s an interesting fact
Did you know

that when stars run out of fuel
They burst big waves
Of gamma radiation?
And that if that were to happen
And that radiation were to hit the planet
It could destroy the ozone layer
That thick layer of gas
Protecting us from our own sun
And since the distance required
For this hypothetical
Is only 3,000 light-years away
It may already happen
And the gamma rays
Are still on their way now.
We are now going to take our second break
This time maybe you could enjoy
A nice song you like
Or think about
Some of your favorite things
For me personally
I like mint chip ice cream
Especially the kind from my local ice cream store
It reminds me of those days
Where it was just me
And a few of my friends
Enjoying ice cream
And talking about
Whatever
Glad to have you back.

Let’s talk about plancks

No, I don’t mean boards of wood
I mean, like the measurement
In fact, it’s the smallest measurement of length
That is
for now anyway.

To put in perspective how small that is
Imagine how much shrinking
A microscope would have to do
In order to see an atom.

It’s a lot of work.
Well, in order to see a Planck
You’d need to triple the zoom.
Of that atomic microscope

And supposedly
Scientists believe that in the center
Of a black whole
May lie a star the size of a planck
Imagine all that mass
More than the entire Earth
More than Jupiter
More than even our own sun
And the bonds that keep
Those electrons and protons
From hitting each other
Just being crushed
Into a point 3 times smaller
Then a single atom

And before this theory
They thought it would be a singularity.
Which means that they thought
That it was not only smaller
Than a planck
But that it would also be
All contained within
One
Singular
Point
As in the smallest something could feasibly be

Well, that’s all the time we have left
I hoped you enjoyed our time together
I’m going to stare out the window now
And think about our own igsignifigance

For Remy

My older dog looks back
at me
as I let him out
one frigid Michigan morning

through rheumy, milk-stained eyes
his black and gray speckled coat
glistens in the snow-strewn
early morning light

his body shivers from cold
and arthritis
and the weight of walks
and chases
and holes dug past

Our eyes meet.
Soul to soul.
Father to son.
Dog to man.

Where I see love, there’s also something I can’t
quite put my finger on,
like a hidden spice
tucked away in potato soup
(chili powder for extra heat)

his mouth pulls up and then
lets down

I hear a thought jumping across our bond
like a crack of ice
in a frozen pond

Instant.
And Powerful.

For one moment he stands there
in the frigid air
and I can read his mind.

Bullshit.

little snowflakes gathering atop my head
i watch them dance with a sense of dread
they are all sparkley and shiny
they are all cold and slippery
they are why i crashed and lay dead

Here comes smiley
Smiley face, so yellow and bright,
A symbol of joy, or just a bad night?
Your smile’s contagious, it’s plain to see,
But what’s behind that smile? Is it just a spree?

You’re on every text, every email too,
A lazy way to express, “I’m feeling brand new!”
But when you’re used excessively, it’s just a crime,
Like a cheesy joke, that’s lost its prime.

Your cousin, the winky face, is quite the flirt,
A sly little devil, with a wink and a smirk.
And don’t even get me started on the poop emoji too,
That’s just a whole different kind of “smile” to get through!

So here’s to you, dear smiley face,
A symbol of joy, or just a digital replacement.
May your smile forever be bright,
But not too bright, or it’s just not right! ￿

And Nigeria,
Here’s a comedy poem about Nigeria:
Oh Nigeria, land of delight
Where the lights go out, and the generators ignite

A funny state, where the roads are so bold
Potholes and craters, that’ll make your car go cold

We’ve got the best of jollof, and suya so fine
But our politicians, are a different kind of wine
They promise and promise, but deliver so little
It’s like they’re playing a game, and we’re all in a puzzle

Our traffic jams, are a sight to behold
Go-slow, as we call it, where the cars go old
But amidst the chaos, we find a way to thrive
With our afrobeat music, and our dancing alive

So here’s to Nigeria, our funny little state
Where the absurd and the crazy, are always on our plate
We’ll laugh and we’ll cry, and we’ll dance in the rain
Because in Nigeria, the funny never goes in vain

“Behind every great man is a surprised woman.”
Maryon Person

How could anyone, she wonders,
who can’t match colors
to dress himself in the morning
be a success in the world?
With feet like those?
Someone who spells so poorly?

How could any person, she thinks,
who is unable to remember
the names of his own cousins
reach such a status?
With so many pimples on his back?

You bet your bottom
she’s surprised.
She lives with the real man
and he’s no one you know—
shoes all over the house,
torn and stained underwear,
a klutz with any tool.

Behind every great man
is a woman, shocked as hell,
wondering,
What have I done to deserve this?

Your smugness is repugnant and your grin suggests you eat shit
With that stink about your person that unsettles nearby stomachs
You’re a misfit who can dish it, but fold like paper under pressure
And your tendency to duck hard hitting facts reflects your measure
I’d never claim you’re evil since in every sense you’re lukewarm
And the grubs that writhe in dirt best approximate your true form
You’re a wettened weasel, Dante’s easel, piteous sinner in the pit
And your voice grates like nails on chalkboards slicked with curdled spit
If this seems crass or harsh it’s just to circumvent confusions
As I’ve tried and failed before to drag you down from your delusions
I’m done you piteous pigeon, it bluntly hurts to see you like this
You may avoid confrontation, but I won’t myself be spineless

They’ll fight dusty wars, like warriors in tales,
In houses that creak with the wind’s howling wails.
They’re like the folks who in huts do reside,
With dreams that are fragile and castles inside.

We built homes of clay like toys in a yard,
Where life plays a game, though the rules hit hard.
Off they march, to chase distant thrones,
Like kings on donkeys, rattling their bones.

No wonder the earth, in a curious plight,
Hides treasures deep, like a mole in the night.
Our land, with its hues so strange and stark,
Holds men like women and women who bark.

From the dusty towns to the lightning lanes,
It rains like clouds have lost their brains.
With soggy heads, they wander along,
Singing to storms their ridiculous song!

In a land where the jiggly jellies jive,
Lived a waffle iron named Wobbletop Five,
With buttons that blinked like fireflies in flight,
And a belly that giggled from morning till night.

“Oh, flapdoodle flippers!” it cheerfully cried,
“I’ll crisp up the clouds, let the syrup slide wide!
With a sprinkle of stardust and a dollop of glee,
I’ll waffle the world into breakfast jubilee!”

It spat out some giggles—now three and a half,
While pancakes danced round in a polka-dotted staff.
With a sizzle and pop, it created a cheer,
As waffles took flight, flapping wings made of beer!

There was Squiggle, the sprout, with a hat made of cheese,
And Drizzle, the syrup, who flowed with such ease,
They formed a parade on the countertop’s race,
With the Wobbletop whirring, a grin on its face.

“Oh, who will they tickle, those jubilee treats?
Will it flutter and flap in the world’s sugary beats?
I’ll toast all the giggles and glimmer the dawn,
In a whirl of bazoodles, I’ll carry them on!”

But then came a whisper, “Oh dear! What’s the fuss?”
As a noodle-nosed gopher hissed, “Join us! Join us!
We’ll frolic through fields of frosted delight,
With your waffle-shaped wishes that twinkle at night!”

So Wobbletop spun on its swivelly toes,
Churning bubbles of laughter that sparkled and glows,
With a plop and a skip, the festivities roared,
In a conga line bobble, where sweetness adored.

In the land of the jiggly jellies, so bright,
The waffle iron danced ‘neath the shimmering light,
For life’s a grand waffle, with flavors so spry,
And each silly moment, a reason to fly

So if you find Wobbletop Five in a dream,
With its nonsensical giggles and bubbly esteem,
Join the chorus of pancakes, the parades of delight,
For in the world of waffle iron whims, all is right!

It’s quite disgusting the way
it invades your sinuses. You
cannot help but scrunch your
nose, giving yourself whiplash
in any attempt to reprieve. The
thick scent of lake only adds
to the torment. Dead fish guts and
sun-dried seaweed and Geese crap
all blend together with dense,
still water. Even better is when
a hot breeze sweeps its way through,
gifting you with everything all
at once. So, to the pigs that of
their own accord must eat and
after that must shit, I sadly hate
you. Take no offense, it is afterall
a very surface level hate. I know
next to nothing about you besides
the stench you bring forth on hot
summer days. But because of that
same glaring scent, the passing
of farm fields sends me back to
my grandma’s house. To days
of being pushed into freezing June
water by brothers and burning
marshmallows over the embers of
a dying fire. To wearing my hair in
pigtails and crying because I could
never catch a fish. Reluctantly, thank
you to the pig farm that sits across the
lake from my grandma’s house.

The fisherman who caught
the mermaid said,
she is beautiful
and, if she lives with me,
the world will say I am handsome.

And, if she has my children,
the world will say I am kind.

And, if she stays with me,
the world will say I am rich.

And, when she leaves,
the world will say he is old,
and when he was young was ugly,
cold and poor, and she had
never seen a man before.