Author: poetryfest

Love is ingrained,
from the moment we’re born.
Everyone just assumes that we love, but how do they know.
I love my friends.
I love my family.
But why assume I am going to find love for another?
Love is not something that is random or selective.
It happens. It’s ever changing.
what you feel today you might not feel tomorrow
and that’s okay because you still love.

I often wonder of my time here
If we’d met in freshman year.
It’s just a thought that I explore,
But could it have been something more?

I know not when this thought began
No matter how far back I scan.
I know you started the same as me
Pursuing a very different degree.

The first thing about you I’d note
Was the style of your coat.
Its shade was the most vibrant green
But unlike anything else I’d seen.

You looked like you’d stepped out of time.
Back when books cost just a dime.
And people lived with altered sight
Joking the world was black and white.

But that line’s just a lie, I swear,
Seeing the color of your hair.
A deep set tone, yet only one,
The color of the rising sun.

It’s hard to think you were always there.
The thought’s almost too much to bear.
That you were here and it was true,
I was too blind to notice you.

When first we spoke I remember
For it was only this September.
Near the end of August, and I am sure
That the memory will endure.

I heard you speak of your beliefs.
Of writing and different motifs.
And while I know it sounds absurd,
I was hanging on to every word.

I think I’ll never know the way
That you enchant each word you say.
You give them all a life of their own.
Even if it’s wholly unknown.

It may not have been long since then,
But I’d like to think I’ve found a friend.
One who just learned that I exist
And one who will be dearly missed.

I’ve heard you sing, I’ve heard you laugh.
I’ve seen your face turn red with wrath.
And all the while I wonder how
I’m only just meeting you now.

I often wonder of my time here
If we’d met in freshman year.
I curse whatever twist of fate
Made me meet you far too late.

I don’t know if there’s greater plan,
After all, I’m only a man.
It’s just a thought that I explore,
But I wish it could have been something more

the word
yes
never cut oxygen more brisk
than it did the night it jetted from your throat
racing the street light that flickered above us:
a seedy spotlight illuminating our
personal shakespearean scene

our bodies melted into each other
heartbeats played a childlike game of tag
lips craved a new taste

should i savor it?
or can i rely on the flavor’s consistency
like a classic
sweet summer ice cream
that i knew was my favorite
before my tongue could decide for itself

although the midnight sky draped over us,
the warm glow of our auras blending
illuminated the atmosphere
with colors straight from God’s palette

who knew a simple question
and a one word answer
could change the color of the sky?

Everyone knows my story
I’ve got seventy-foot-long magic hair and I live in a tower
I had been here for eighteen years, waiting to finally leave and be free
I didn’t want to spend any longer being my mother’s flower

A man in a blue vest with a brown satchel came to my tower one day
I hit him with a frying pan, everyone knows that
But he ended up having everything that I wanted, everything that I needed
An escape from my life, an escape from everything in my past

We climbed down the tower and ran away to the kingdom
I told him my dream of seeing the lanterns
He knew everything important that I held near and dear to me
And I knew right away that this man not only met but wrote all of my standards

He took me onto the water to watch the lanterns rise
I watched in awe as I let my hopes fly encased in fire and paper
Eugene had saved me and when I looked at him I knew
That whatever love was, it was him I wanted to give mine to

But when we reached the land once more I felt everything fall
There was a hole in my heart that I couldn’t quite figure out
I’d done exactly what I wanted and he had been the one to help me
So there was no reason for it but I was filled with doubt

Eugene walked away, going to find more wood
I had put all my trust in him, I knew he’d come back
But then the shadows were slowly taking over my mind
And I felt like I was slowly but surely falling under attack

I couldn’t escape the thoughts in my mind
I couldn’t escape the fears that threatened to become real
I took deep breaths but it didn’t quite help
When I looked around and didn’t see him, I went numb and couldn’t even feel

Eugene was gone and wasn’t going to help me
He wasn’t going to come and save me like he’d done just before
He wouldn’t be there as the lanterns faded from the sky
He was only there for his benefit and nothing more

I felt myself fading just like my lantern in the dark
Dizziness took over and I was on the brink of the end
It was Mother who saw me and took me in her arms
It was Mother who was there for me and saved me instead

I followed her home back to the tower that I once felt was a trap
Back to the tower that I once felt was a prison
I promised her that I’d never try to leave again
Because the lanterns that I once dearly loved now were the villain

The promise is you’ll take the world that I perceive
Swallow up the senses that my soul has learned,
In my years without you, to ignore, and have my
Soul receive an ecstasy, even in each moment
Alone, where I merely have to think about
You, and I am placed where human souls retreat
Not to forget what it has been to live on earth,
But to know what it is like to be held by someone
More than divine, and become indistinguishable
From this sacred indefinable thing: a loved one.

When I swallowed up the sun,
Were you watching as I carelessly gorged
With insatiability in my eyes?

Was my demeanor just benevolent enough
To calm a misguided spark and flare,
Or any other wayward celestial body?

You see, I still ponder
On a plane without a yesterday,
A space without a future,
And a time that isn’t present.
All so I can consume at a familiar pace.

Eating what my palms took for granted
Gave no closure to my thoughts,
And little strength to hear my bones
As they rattled on about implosion.

Moments are immortal in a void;
What is time without a guiding light
To warm the threads of fate
That have me beyond mere captivation?

To glimpse the beauty I yearn for
Means starving the very nature
That built the pedestal I needed,

But for the horizon I chase,
I see no clearer path than to die,
To give in and ignite who I am.

Will I glimpse you at the speed of light,
Or will the colors I bleed blur the time we share?
The moments will remind us
And give meaning to singularity.

Across the way
Resides a boy about my age.

His computer desk is parked against the window
Facing outwards towards mine.

I wonder
What goes on
On his dual monitors.

He could be doing homework
Or perhaps playing a video game.

Could he be looking out his window
And wondering what I’m doing?
Thinking about what I’m doing at my desk?
In my head,

I’ve created a scene reminiscent of a Hallmark movie
About how boy and girl meet
And decide to see a cheesy movie together
Before sharing an awkward first kiss.

In reality, I know nothing about this boy.
For all I know, he could be loathsome to be around.
He might not be into girls.
He might not even be a boy at all.

But still the thought lingers
That my soulmate might only be

A window away.

Love at first sight
No doubt in my mind it had to be
From the moment we met, my heart galloped carelessly.
Conversations lasting for hours well into dawn
Neither wanting to end the call, instead continuing on and on
Checking first thing each morning for a soothing text
or one a bit erotic testing my flesh.
My adrenaline would rise when I saw his name on the screen of my phone
Waiting desperately until the next time he would hold me in his arms with bone to bone.
Helping him tirelessly to deal with grief and health issues he suppressed beneath
So deep he sometimes felt guilty when we laughed out loud and seemed to be at peace.
Gradually as days turned to weeks and weeks to months
I started to encounter a very alarming different side
The warm things he once said were replaced with cruel words that I could no longer let slide.
The jokes he would tell and the subtle belittling he would do
made me start to question me and my sanity, sometimes not knowing just what to do.
He reminded me often of how he didn’t allow unannounced visits at all
Yet, he would accidentally show up to see me without giving me a call.
He was so loving and always willing to foot the dining bills
As he said he was different from other men and this gave me chills.
He never missed a Sunday from church and daily displayed a scripture
reminding everyone of how much God loved the world and sent his son on a professional sticker.
Spending extended time with him when he felt really sad
as holidays reminded him of the family gatherings he once had.
He cried on my shoulder and I supported him through so much
even neglecting myself to make certain he felt the touch
of a friend, a confidante, a helpmate, a special person sent you see
Until one day, unexpectedly he text me and told me he moved on and it should be the same for me.
The first person on the surface I met was so charming and so kind
While the one underneath was one who could drive you out of your mind
Always with a spare or two hanging on the branch
similar to a monkey, he could always reach back and start over the dance.
Narcissism, I found out, is definitely real
So, if you realize you are involved in a similar situation leave before your mind, body and soul it kills.

My intuition isn’t always right,
But it’s always on time.
And your answer was the one I never wanted to get.

I knew what was coming,
But you’re never truly prepared
When the knife makes contact with the heart.

What’s done is done.
No turning back now.
The time has passed,
When I wanted you more than anything.

Every morning, the realization hits:
I’m no longer part of your dreams,
And you’re no longer part of mine.
It’s funny how they turn into nightmares.
We pretend it’s not real,
Denial eroding the soul.

I’m not your cake.
You can’t keep me in your possession
And devour me all the same.

I know your game.
You can’t have it both ways,
And you won’t play me again.

I won’t settle meekly
For your feeble consolation prize—
Been there. Done that.
No thanks.

Thrown back into the circle of friendship,
My self-respect will not comply.
You liked the contrast,
Promised there’d be a next time,
But it was all a deception,
Waiting to unravel itself.

I revealed myself in the light,
Though I was afraid to.
But all this time, you remained in the shadows.

I won’t wait around, fingers crossed,
Hoping you’ll change your mind.
I’ll move on eventually—
Just like you did.

This pain won’t fade quickly.
It’ll stay beneath the surface,
But time will heal me, although scars will remain.
(Even if you can’t see them.)

You’re not aware of it yet,
But your soul will know it soon enough.
You’ll feel the ache I’ve carried.
It’ll gnaw at you, deep in your bones.

If we couldn’t work now,
We never will. That’s the truth.
Don’t lie to yourself like you lied to me.

I lost you, but that’s life.
No more fantasizing about what could’ve been.
As I drag myself back to square one.

She loved Chagall, she said, especially L’Écuyère. It made her feel like a child at a circus. When it was my turn to paint her, I chose gouache on cellulose. It made me feel like a child again at a fair. She named her seven-toed cat Marc because Chagall had seven fingers on one hand. After she died, I could never convince the cat to love me. He painted me invisible. So I got a dog. Just to be seen once more. I named the dog Chagall, a name he never came to. So I gave him away.