Category: Uncategorized

Today a little girl will run in the sand
Clad in little sandals, a flag in her hand
Dad flips a burger and smiles to his wife
A day we are given for those who gave their life
We stand in our red and white at the end of May
Stand proud when Lee sings, “God bless the USA,”
But do we really think of the folded flags
and 21 gun salutes
The horror, tears, widowing, and a young one’s empty boots
The rows of flags on silent hills brought the freedom that will thrive
But today as you enjoy your weekend think of those that didn’t make it out alive.

The light departed. Demons roamed the land tearing flesh, consuming hearts. The child, Talas, taken from her mother’s dead arms spoke her sorrow song and they took her tongue. She wrote: they took her hands. She cried; they took her eyes. She danced her pain; they took her feet. They tied her ravaged body to a signpost, a warning.

Desiccated flesh fell from bone, became new earth, feeding water and air. The tendrils of her heart song rose, whipsawing the land, purging it of pain. Talas sang. Lamentations for the new
beginning. The heavens weep Talas sorrow song.

I dance with my ghosts because that’s all I’ve ever known
In this decayed ball, the waltz is haunting and slow
Stained-glass windows cast long shadows
Across this hopeless ballroom, my pain echoes

Freezing air creeps through the broken windows
The cold rattles the ancient stones
A weary melody drifts like a phantom
Like a lullaby played while they bury my bones

Gilded mirrors covered in dust
Reveal my fractured self at once
With tired eyes, I gaze towards shadowed balconies
The pathway to a sudden fall of all my memories

Candle-filled chandeliers shatter on the floor
Setting this sorrow ballad on fire
The flames start dancing along, fast and higher
Enticing me to lie down in this tarnished pyre

The ashes then twirl like snow in the air
I faintly see my reaper, under the moonlight’s pale stare
Suddenly I blink as morning stains the gloom
And I’m dancing with my ghosts again, in this endless loop

A large breath is pushed out of me
I am just trying to be alive
To inhale and exhale
Laugh and to walk
But i’m not sure if i’m doing it right
Everything I bite into is rotten
No one believes but it’s true
To felt loved is not to deny the inevitable
But it is to stare in the eyes and say its name
What good is a woman if she cannot perform?
If she is not loving and kind
What good is a friend if there is a wretched coldness in place of her heart
What good is a lover when she locks you out at signs of need
I cannot go on
I wake up I work I come home I sleep
There is an awful taste in my mouth
and it is spreading to my face
and everyone has noticed
The people around me they say there is something there now
It wasn’t there before
How do I even begin to explain
The aching exhaustion of blinking
breathing
staying alive
And if I have mistaken you then I apologize
but this is no dramatic ordeal
There will be cries out loud for help
There will be no displays of agony
Simply a head that cannot be lifted
A sky that cannot be cleared
Does that make sense now?

There was only one place I longed for
Things have now changed
Not always in a good way
Because now there are two

I used to run away in my dreams
Away from the place of my nightmares
Back to my home
It was the only way out

Deep, deadly thoughts lurked
Until I could escape the sorrow
Memories embedded that wouldn’t come
That was the way things were

Now there are both friends and foes
If I were to leave, hearts would be broken
It’s still the place I fear
But now I do not wish to leave as badly

Learn to stay away from the shadows
Step out into the shining light
For where I used to hide
That’s where the monsters lurk

Choosing is not an option
The pain is too great
But the pain of leaving may be greater
Maybe there’s another way

The language we speak is aging, already old.
Will the fog burn off today?
We are still good at catching our heart strays,
agile though they are, aging though we are.

No fights still – but is that due to fog?
You were so much light when I met you, still are.
And you make so much light in me.
Even if no children come from our us.

I thought everything I left, which was everything,
to be with you was ash to me—or would be when I was gone.
It is even more alive, more blazing with light,
which it would have to be for me to see

from this far away now. Is it everything
that looks better from far away?
Or only that, when you get real close,
you can see that everything really is dust.

You thought it’s okay
to do as you please and betray me.
Prepare yourself. It’s time for war.
I’ll make sure you never do this again.
So, keep that pillow nice and cold.

He toyed with my mind
Stretched it, shook it, cracked it wide
He called me fat, ugly, hairy
When I first heard him, I cried
Then it faded

When staff wouldn’t care, I pretended not to
But when I got home, when I showered
When I had to shave the face I hate
The water washed the tears, but not the pain
When the razor met my face, it all rushed back to me

It felt like it was the first hurt in my life
I thought about when another toyed with my heart
We would hide rings at the pool, exchange glance
Our soles met below common-area tables
I’d lay awake imagining his scent
But he didn’t imagine mine

I gave him a way to reach me, and he smiled
But as I left, I saw him show the others
His words evaded me, but I already knew them
The same staff who left me to cry threatened my pencil
They said it’d be gone if it happened again
But why would it?

That night my journal read “I am rotten meat”
I’m not sure if it holds true
But when I was held there, I felt it was
They toyed with my whole being

That place left me feeling defective; broken from birth
I still feel scrambled; like I have loose parts
I want to be loved, not just played with
I want to go far, but I need to be wound up again

Wait.

Is it over yet?
Not for another year. Or ten.
I’m a violent shade of bruised violet

Your brother died in the war? He was fighting for your rights
Your rights I so love to violate.

Wait.

Just a little bit longer
Only a few thousand left to die
Marching off straight to the skies

Bones in grass
Browns, and decaying grays

Wait.

I am one of you,
I am the everlasting elite,
I am the horseman known as war,

And I will do
Whatever it takes
for me to survive.

Memories linger between
the threads of my sweatshirt.

Glimpses of lilac-clothed moments
retained within the stitches of
a cotton-polyester blend.

Simple fabric now consoling me
from my mind’s wanderings to you.