Category: Uncategorized

No love in my desire for you
Recollection of your body
Hopes of touch
Prophecy not meant for fulfillment

Do not look for me
I have basked in drunken cruelty
Searching for the promises of my youth

I call him-I recollect his features
Rose lips and flirtation’s anticipated kiss
Destruction in poverty, but in his kiss
I bask in his voice of ‘what if’

Sensibility points at you,
But it is him I look for across the street

I was never meant to weather
this holy place, bearing the
wings winter loved, pale like
bloodless lips–
window panes frosted with the
heat of colliding bodies,
collarbones like glass birds,
wings forever flung wide.
I was born in the icy months and
I’ve never forgotten them,
hoarding each year behind
my molars, breathing them in
with the burn of cigarette smoke,
blood at the back of my throat.
the kiss of fool’s spring,
the mad without her meds,
whipping up hurricane winds in
my wake–hunting girl, hungry
girl, dying child of the killing
season, ebb and flow of the white-
capped swell. living temple to the
empty season, nothing sacred,
nothing safe.

I was always meant to
conquer this perfect storm, ringing
around poppy fields, distorting my
faithless dreams in which I wield
lightning, lighting up my faithless
heart, bone carved from clear quartz,
lapis lazuli straight to the vein.
la strega on holy ground, casting and
cursing as I am wont to do. worldless,
but never wordless; worthless, wretched
in the eyes of our foolish God. la strega
in sacred space: burned, buried, witch-
born and witch-bred by nothing but will
and word and way.

my offerings are for
the old gods and my sacrifices are at my
own altars, flesh shrine desecrated and
reconstructed to wipe the slate clean.
I’m breaking for my own sake, and all the
chapels, the votives, the rosaries in the
world couldn’t touch what I have become,
couldn’t begin to make me pure–cyclic
futility to which even God falls victim,
the madness of bearing my cross, my
immortal mutiny.

I watch your eyes as they gaze down
to my lips
I’m waiting for your confession
at the slip of the tongue

Your pupils generate more darkness
but the transparency of my reflection
is our future and
where it will always lie

Hidden beneath our souls so when one day
When our bodies are rotten
We grow and spread wildfire

Wildfire carries the guilt
Of those who have ever done you wrong

You will put your past behind you like you cry rivers to put out my fires

You are easy to love because you make it easy to love everyone else

You make it easy to not space but to gaze in the moments we share

One day all of our memories will be in pages just like these

I hope to fill novels with our times because our time won’t last forever

But maybe we’ll be a classic love that never dies

In the attic
of the four-story Georgian
townhouse at 221 Baker St.,
a porcelain loo
sits hand painted
with English bluebells,
stems drooping
toward the tip inverting
delicate indigo petaled cups
said to spring up
from the blood
of a dying prince
loved by an Olympian deity
is marked “for display only.”

Concentrating in your arms, the world falls quiet,
Our souls have agreed to share all sound.
We continue to smell—our perfume of lovemaking
We continue to see—dazed at our ceiling
We continue to taste—chapped lips meeting
We continue to touch—cheek on chest resting
We continue to hear—not quite listening.
Concentrating, time becomes just breath and beat.

I saw a willow in a forest forlorn
A half-cleaved out elegance,
yet another thriving mourns
A feller snatched its scions away
Its faunas seized in doom
The leaves that knew nothing of rue
But the flowers need not learn to bloom

The feller who once a commandeer
Lost his half to a hungry bear
He limped his days through starving wild
And ceded his lot for a wife and a child

The wife who cared for their coup
She made their beds, warm loaves and soup
And yes, she seldom knew to read
Yet trained her cub for humble deeds
In a war that’s due behold your mind
The triumph is his whose heart is kind
Reciting lores all sooth and sly
She held her love a rock-a-bye

The child half blind had an emerald half
His heart twice as large he made the seasons laugh
‘Is true he couldn’t reckon the path to his stay
Yet never ceased to unsee the elegant willow’s way

His willow of grace whose scions cleaved
Its faunas snatched the Aves grieved
And leaves that breath all mortals’ blow
The leaves that knew nothing but to grow
I saw its vines in a foreign land
They whispered gently, “We Understand!”
And they do, I assure you, that is for sure,
Can’t quarrel in words they chose the birds
To chirp to cry for them they fly
And back to board the humble abode
They keep a track of bright and black
All meek and sly and the passersby
Some halt and lay unto umbra bay
And quench its thirst for strange novelettes
More carry the dreads of towering threads
Troubling to reach out lost spirits, muddle-heads
Serenely sinews dangling down
Unstained by the talking town
Yet he who greet the bleeding sun
Can feel the bliss of unison.
– Animesh Anand

It won’t make a difference
They said about my tiny garden
My pollinator garden
My few purple echinaceas
Some violet salvia
Pink penstemons
White and lavender columbines
Shaped like shooting stars
Showy milkweed for the monarchs
But now I find native bees
Great digger wasps
Jumping spiders and butterflies
Golden finches
And even a toad
Where before, only rocks lived
True, it is a small
But very beautiful difference

A branched tree, shattered leaves,
leaves that don’t determine anything.
Seasons that made the branched tree feel something is ultimately preparing
the branched tree to be unfazed.
The ultimate doomsday, my ultimate demise.
A branched tree is my entity,
my serenity and my unfazed hatred toward the supremacy.

Crumble

Crumble, Crumbling is all I can hear.
Despite everything all I feel is hopeful.
Hope is the only thing that protected me from disdaining myself.
Endless darkholes yet all I can see is him.
The light of my demise.
A light who told me, “It’s fine, I am here for you.”
Hope of my wavering world, a hope who is keeping my very existence
ALIVE.

Lizard

A lizard looked at me as I lay on the bed
hyperventilating….
It calmed me whereas my birth giver made my condition worse.
I was always in the fault, but a lizard calmed me.
It checked up on me, when no one dared to break the shell which I
desperately want.
A lizard calmed me down
as I stared down on his photo.

Scapegoat

I let myself to be the villain of something which I didn’t corrupt yet if I didn’t
let myself get framed for it,,
chaos, disruption would befall on the person, to whose life I deliberately
destroyed…….
I became the scapegoat for the vengeance’s bride.
I cold-heartedly swallowed those pills for hours despite knowing it would
cause nothing except for minor inconvenience to my body, but a permanent
scar to my soul.

Nothing

Nothing is my nemesis.
Nothing is what created me…
Nothing is what defines my existence.
A void of an inescapable destiny-intertwined in my fate.
A realm of nothingness.

The cut was made by one who loved
One who loved deeply and truly the
One that they cut, they took it upon
Themselves to suture the wound with
The best of intentions, never meaning
Harm

But the one who loved was never
Very good for the one they loved
Tearing at the wound with every
Suture, ripping once pristine skin
Into shredded bits of lost love and
Regret

The one they loved had once loved
Them too, but by now it was so tired
Of all the pain that they caused and
No longer had the energy to love them
Back, no longer had the ability to truly
Care

It had never loved them the same
Way but it had once loved them,
Long ago before it had been utterly
Maimed nearly beyond recognition
But the lines between had long since
Blurred

It was so tired of letting them tear
Selfishly at its skin, they didn’t mean
To be selfish and it knew that but
When they tore open its chest to eat
Its heart, it couldn’t find any reason
Why

They wanted it to love them with
All of its heart and so they had to
Pull it to pieces to keep it for their
Own personal use, no matter how
They knew how terrible the behavior
Is

And they did know, they knew
Almost as well as it did, but it
Felt the pain from it all more
Than they did, the guilt of them
Would never transcend the pain of
It

They couldn’t help the way they
Were and nor could it help its
Forgiving nature, its desire to
Help them be better, but they
Would always be selfish
So

Turning away from one another
Was the only option but it was
Slow, they never managed to
Forget one another, and despite
All the pain, leaving them was
Hard.

He wasn’t adopted but made,
Not in a womb but psyche.
My son was a misborn,
I never met his father.

I was still married to my past,
Yet I nurtured my son.
Who feeds on my thoughts,
Sparing nothing at all.

While I drained every day.
He bloomed to a manchineel,
He bore the fruits of my toil,
And the apples made me blind.

I sought peace in my past,
That I wished never existed.
I untangled the cobwebs,
To fine, shiny, silk threads.

And I spun new thoughts,
That kept alive my past.
My son fed on the thoughts,
Blinding me day by day.

I was reduced to two eyes,
Bright, that could not see.
The beauty and vibrance,
Just a breath away.

I was reduced to an ego.
To keep my son alive.
I weaved new shiny palls.
At the cost of my idyll,

My son was an evil,
Who killed his mother.
Guilt is my lucky bastard,
Though I never dated Sin.