Tag: Now We’ll Never Know, by Deborah Johnson

 Deborah Johnson

author “For Just five Minutes-Heaven, YES-Hell.NO”

Posted on March 2, 2015by 50djohnson

photo by Pinterest

Look into these precious eyes and tell me she doesn’t feel anything? Look into these eyes and tell me that her life doesn’t count? Look upon her face, her hair, her eyes, her skin and tell me she wasn’t in the womb, beautifully and wonderfully made? How many must cry out for the lives of those aborted before someone listens to their tears? “A Mother’s Heart Denied ” I wrote about the aching of the heart of a childless woman.  This poem approaches these precious little lives from a different perspective. ‘Mother who acted on her “CHOICE”:’

When I found out you were in fact  for real

Not letting myself believe, dream or feel.

There was no time in my scheduled life for a child,

For being  a Mother and a wife, that’s just too wild!

Taking care of it was the simple fix,

Just get rid of “it” was in my bag of tricks.

I think of you from time to time

Wondering if your hair was the color of mine?

Wondering if green eyes sparkled in the sun?

Wondering what allowed you to have the most fun?

Beautiful brown hair tied with a bow,

Ponytail bouncing, Out Of MY Dreams, Go!

Haunted forever by the sound of your voice,

I wish I hadn’t listened to those saying, “It’s your choice!”

Oh, how my aching arms long to hold you so tight,

As I sit here and cry during the long, long night.

What if you had my ability to sing?

Laying your talents before the king.

He might have an opened a door no man could close.

Now, that song you’ll never compose.

Precious moments, hastily gone forever.

Now We’ll never know, no never.

‘Woman Wanting a child:’

So here I sit wanting nothing more.

Than for God to bless me and open that door

A husband and a child was the perfect dream

But it wasn’t going to happen or so it seemed.

These children of his belong to their mother .

There seems to be no room in their hearts for another.

My husband and I both love to sing.

If only we had brought a child into this world to bring

Music  that could soar to God’s very throne,

A dark-headed, green-eyed child of our own.

Her laughter delighting as we splash and we swim.

Thinking,”How blessed,” at just the thought of him.

Staring at the beauty of the perfect little hands.

Feeling how tiny and how much love they demand.

Holding his hand to make him feel secure.

What a joy to watch her grow and mature!

My heart missing those days, sharing our dreams

Talking of God and how heaven seems.

Discussing  guardian angels who guide and protect

Praying for God to love and direct.

Not letting myself dream about you too much.

Believing what could have been, and such,

But now it’s too late for our family to grow.

Yes, it’s too late, Now We’ll Never Know.

Psalms 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was laid out before a single day had passed.

The poem “A Mother’s Heart Denied”. This poem was inspired by Caleb a fellow blogger and his pro-life stance on abortion. Thank you Caleb!

A picture is worth a thousand words. You will not believe this story. Well worth the few minutes it will take to read it.  About the picture: http://michaelclancy.com/    “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you”.   – Jeremiah 1:5 Photos from Pinterest, photographer unknown.

SAD IS REAL ANDHURT IS HARD If all you want to do is cry, watch thesunset and for 1 minute think on the beauty in creation and something good in your past and future. The next day for 2 minutes. The next day for 3 minutes, etc. Before you know it, you will have gone an hour without thinking about whatever is hurting your heart. Now, sunsets are an inspiration.  They are God’s art speaking to my heart!* My cure for depression: ” Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 Health is mental and physical.

©ASK FOR PERMISSION Deborah Johnson and debbie’s journey to health and hope, December, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Deborah Johnson and debbie’s journey to health and hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. This includes all photography . Photography copyrighted through National Geographic.