RHYME Poem: I Should Have Stayed in Bed!, by Michael William Hogan

I had no clue of things to be
in the dismal day ahead
‘cause if the future I could see
I would have stayed in bed

Some coffee and some cornflakes
Is how I start my day
Curdled milk would be my first mistake
Because I ate it anyway.

Then on my daily walk to work
I passed beneath a tree
I must have scared a giant bird
Because It took a crap on me!

I had no choice, could not be late
So I threw away my sweater
But little did I know just then
Things would not get much better

I took a shortcut through a park
That was a big mistake
Halfway across I heard a bark
A dog was charging me.

I dared not run, I stood my ground
Friend or foe I could not peg
I soon was mounted by this hound
As he began to hump my leg!

I screamed until I lost my voice
But he must have eaten spinach
I was no match, I had no choice
But to let the damn thing finish.

I could not throw away my pants
was already late for work
I hoped my boss by slimmest chance
Would for once not be a jerk.

I ran the final hundred yards
My stomach was in knots
My breakfast was not sitting well
My eyes were seeing spots.

My boss was waiting at the door
A pink slip in his hand
The sight of being unemployed
Was all that I could stand.

I swallowed hard, it mattered not
My stomach did so hurt
My breakfast came up wet and hot
And hurled on boss’ shirt.

Oh, what a day, turned out to be
I should have stayed in bed.
My boss he won’t stop chasing me
If he catches me, I’m dead!