Read Poem: The Hot Air Artist by Roger Hayman

He’s a loudmouth and a scholar
With tales that shock and stun
A murder mystery solver
A raconteur bar none
He beats the bookies, taxman too
He knows just what to say
He lost his shirt in Monaco
And won it back next day

He’s not a half-glass-empty man
For him the glass is full
He’ll talk the hind leg off a donkey
And the nose-ring from a bull
Not knowing about a subject
He goes on undeterred
He’ll talk about a shaggy dog
And you’ll hang on every word

He sees off cryptic crosswords
And complex maths for fun
He swims ten thousand metres
And runs a marathon
He crushes most opponents
At tennis, squash or pool
And wont take any prisoners
Or suffer any fool

He doesn’t hire brokers
And won’t pay any fees
And no one sees him passing
They only feel the breeze
He never wears a life belt
Or clings to any raft
He’s never needed any loan
Or had an overdraft

He has no ambition,
Pinnacle or quest
And is no control freak
It’s just he knows what’s best
But like a raging torrent
That runs through open locks
He’s a garrulous, bombastic
Outrageous chatterbox!