Read Poem: DONNER DINNER, by Robert D. Carver

“Donner Dinner” Robert D. Carver Copyright © 2018
IF EVER TO A DINNER PARTY BY THE FAMILY KNOWN AS DONNER YOU’RE INVITED,
IF I WERE YOU, I TRULY WOULDN’T BECOME TOO EXCITED.
IMMEDIATELY UPON YOUR ARRIVAL, YOU DISCOVER THAT THEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH A HOSTESS WHO WILL BE MORTALLY OFFENDED WHEN YOU REVEAL
THAT YOUR STAY WILL NOT BE EXTENDED—
YOUR DIETICIAN RECOMMENDED YOU ONLY EAT A VERY LIGHT MEAL
AND YOU LEARN YOU ARE INTENDED AS THE MAIN COURSE ON THE MENU—
AS A GOURMET SUBSTITUTE FOR A FILLET OF MILK-FED VEAL!
YOU’LL BE SERVED UP WITH BOULIABAISE PLUS A GARNISHEE’
AND ALLSPICE, IF YOU DON’T HEED MY ADVICE AND VERY QUICKLY FLEE!

THE DONNER FAMILY DINNER PARTY HAVE A WELL-HONED APPETITE
THAT IS QUITE HEARTY, ESPECIALLY FOR LONG-PIG, AKA HUMAN FLESH,
THEY ARE ALL FOR CONSUMIN’ IT WITH SPICES SUCH AS CUMIN—
BUT ONLY WHEN IT HAS BEEN BUTCHERED FRESH.

THEY PREFER IT WHEN IT HAS BEEN WELL-STEWED IN A POT,
FOR DINNER, LUNCH OR AN AFTERSCHOOL SNACK;
BUT THEY’LL DEVOUR IT WHETHER IT’S COLD OR HOT,
THEY START TO DROOL AND THEIR LIPS THEY SMACK.

MY MUSCLES WELL-BROILED AND BRAZED UPON A ROASTING SPIT OR RACK……
WHEN I ENCOUNTERED THE JUNIOR BONNERS IT WAS NO CHANCE MEETING—
IT HAD FOR A LONG TIME BEEN THEIR CHERISHED GOAL—
I SHOULD HAVE QUICKLY FLED AT THEIR FIRST GREETING;
THOUGH AT FIRST GLANCE, IT WAS MERELY FLEETING.
I COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN THAT I WAS FATED TO PAY A TERRIBLE TOLL.

ANY ATTEMPTED ESCAPE WOULD HAVE PROVEN SELF-DEFEATING;
THEY WERE DETERMINED TO EXECUTE THEIR CHOSEN ROLE;
EACH TO PERFORM WITH GUSTO—NOT TO MENTION LUST, OH—
WHICH ENTAILS MY STEAMING ENTRAILS BEING SERVED UP IN A BOWL;
MY BODY FLAYED, MY HEAD DISPLAYED UPON A SHARPENED POLE!

THE DONNER FAMILY DINNER PARTIES HAVE A WELL-EARNED REPUTATION FOR MASTICATION…
MY LIFEBLOOD IN A BEAKER WOULD HAVE BEEN BRIMMING,
AFTER STRAINING AND SKIMMING THROUGH A SIEVE;
THE AUVOIR DUPOIS, AFTER TRIMMING, WOULD HAVE BEEN CONSIGNED TO SUET;
WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN THINKING AS THEY WERE DRINKING IT—
LIKE A CHAMPAGNE SPLIT—

BUT I WAS DETERMINED NOT TO ALLOW SOME CANNIBAL TO EXERCISE HIS MANDIBLE,
WHILE HIS THIRST HE SLAKED,
THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF WITH A CAKE OR PIE IN WHICH MY SWEETMEATS HAD BEEN BAKED……

INSTEAD I VERY QUICKLY DID A FLIT!

THAT WAS THE WORST NIGHTMARE, EVEN AFTER EXTREMELY LIGHT FARE—
I’M REALLY GLAD I DIDN’T DIE—
I’VE COMPLETELY LOST MY APPETITE!

About poetryfest

Submit your Poetry to the Festival. Three Options: 1) To post. 2) To have performed by an actor 3) To be made into a film.
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