Read Poem: GOOD ADVICE, by Isabella Vergun

1. The world is wondrous and new.
It may not always seem that way, but it is.
You are too young to be so cynical.
2. Do not try to pry Tom Kitten’s eyeball out.
It is not a marble.
You can buy new marbles,
but you can’t buy new eyeballs.
His scratched and vacant stare will haunt you.
3. No, beautiful child,
You will never grow a penis.
You will learn to love your curves.
You will learn that women are not the enemy.
You will learn that “all the other girls” do not exist.
4. You will never be an astronaut.
You are afraid of heights and space.
You will find better dreams.
You will never stop searching for new worlds.
Going to the planetarium will always make you cry.
5. Don’t fall in love with married men.
Especially if they’re married to your cousin.
Especially if he is twenty years older than you.
6. Get excited over tiny things,
especially tiny turtles.
The tinier, the better.
7. If you are seven years old,
do not form your definition of what “lesbian” means based on Friends.
Furthermore, do not call your mother a lesbian at a dinner party
unless she is one.
She is not.
8. Don’t lend shoes to unscrupulous people.
9. Do not cut your hair in class.
It will not impress boys.
It will not impress anyone.
a. Do not cut your friend’s hair in class.
b. Do not cut anybody’s hair in class.
c. Seriously, just don’t.
They will send you to the guidance office
and ask you if you are schizophrenic.
10. Do not google search the word “hentai.”
If for any reason you do choose to google search the word “hentai,”
and you still live at home,
delete your browsing history,
(for the love of god, delete your browsing history),
or prepare yourself for a very uncomfortable conversation.
11. Watch movies with old people.
12. Things you should not discuss with classmates:
a. The superiority of your old hometown to their hometown
b. The 2007 World Series
c. How goddamn lonely you are
d. Used beach condoms
13. Do not tell people you talk to ghosts
or God.
It’s not worth the disapproving looks.
14. Never ever walk barefoot in the snow
unless you know what you’re getting into
which you don’t.
15. Do not laugh at your boyfriend’s penis,
and do not be too hard on yourself for laughing out of panic.
16. It’s okay if you can’t scream.
It’s okay if you can’t cry.
It’s okay if you don’t feel what you are supposed to.
17. If the idea of kissing someone
anyone
makes you feel sick
for a good long time,
do not kiss someone.
Do not kiss anyone.
You are not broken.
18. Be proud of the fact
that the best orgasms you’ve ever had
have come from yourself.
19. Do not drink that much wine over Seder dinner.
20. Do not climb buildings when drunk
(but if you do end up atop a building while drunk
and it’s well past midnight
and the stars are falling out of the sky,
enjoy it while it lasts).
21. You have always been told not to talk to strangers.
Talk to strangers.
22. Be honest.
Be honest.
Be honest
(but not cruel).
23. Remember that “good advice”
is not always good advice.

Author: poetryfest

Submit your Poetry to the Festival. Three Options: 1) To post. 2) To have performed by an actor 3) To be made into a film. View all posts by poetryfest