Author: poetryfest

leaves hang
like painted glass
bathed in light
glittering, they catch
the corners in my eyes
turn them around
I walk through this
living mosaic
that surrounds
holds me in naked rapture
my mortal blood
pounds the earth, whilst
skin and bone, bound by scars
ever grind to dust
birds’ words drip down
my spine, lay in hazy
dappled pools, lazy
stones shine, kissed by
sunshine’s rays, electricity
darts dragonflies between
my synapses, around my brain
I drink this in, basking in the freedom
that knowing brings, for
I know alone feels like a lifetime
I know what it is to go mad
I know how to speak with angels
why former friends cross the
street as I go past
I am just one small human being
who has done things the stupid way, but
I know after all this time, I am fine with that
when I am dead all of me will be burned to ashes
and they will ride upon the winds
that is my truth

RJ Farndon 2021

Once upon a time I was a lost dog. I was abandoned, lonely, forgotten,
and praying for a home. I had no place to hide, no place to go,
no one person who would love me and let me love them.

I had been abused, starved, left alone out in the heat, and the snow.
I was frightened by the storms and was offered no shelter to
protect me from them. I ate what I could find from what was tossed out.
I had to move all the time just to survive.

I was so skinny my ribs stuck out. I ached with pain and my skin itched.
No one knew the love that was inside me.
I was hoping for that one special human to call my own.

I never felt the joy of love or caring, and Hiding was my life.
Cruel humans received their joy from taunting me, and for them it was a sport.
Then one day a police officer found me and took me to a shelter.
I was finally warm and fed, but so alone, and so scared.
We were all scared at the shelter, I could tell.

I was so scared of men; they had been the worst to me.
But one day a man came, a sad and lonely veteran. He saw me,
Then he stopped and talked to me. He showed me love
for the first time. He held me and spoke softly to me.
I licked the tears from his cheeks as he told me we would both be ok.

He said, “I’ve got your Six Buddy”. He promised to always be there for me.
He promised no one would hurt me again.
He kept saying I will never leave you behind.
He held me as he talked so softly to me.
Come with me, and there will be no more fear for you or me.

I will not leave you outside again. You will always be warm and fed.
You will be loved, and you will be cherished.
You will always have a soft place to sleep,
and you will have so many toys to play with.

I was so scared because he was a man. Men have hurt me and scared me in the past.
I have been scared for so long that I knew no other life.
But for me to trust again and with this
new human felt right. I felt he needed me as much as I needed him.

He kept his word to me, he fed me well, he held me at night when we slept.
He brushed my coat and made sure I was clean.
I had so many toys and we would go for rides together.
He never left my side even when I first feared him.

I waited every day at first for things to change and I was so patient.
I waited to see if this was real, the days passed and then the weeks,
but the love between us grew so strong.
As the months passed, we became so close we were now inseparable.

It did not take long really, because I felt the love the very first day.
I knew he was my very own human, who loved me, and I thanked
God each day that this man saved my life.
I thanked him every day for the life I now have, and to be genuinely loved.
I know he thanked God for me saving his life as well.

So, I want to tell all my friends in the shelters, there are
loving humans that check the shelters each day.
They will share their home with you, and you will be loved once you are found.

So, all you other humans out there open your hearts.
You do not have to search far. You will have that perfect home for a tender heart.
You can be that shining star in a beautiful creature’s heart like mine.

If you do, then a new member will join your family circle.
You will all grow together and be a family.
There is room for one of us with you,
because without you we have nowhere else to go.

In having everything and nothing to do all at once,
this mother strips herself bare
of dignity. I do what I have to.
The happy meds I fed my mind this morning
kicked themselves in
far past the buzzed feel-good uprights
landing amidst a stadium of Zombies.
One of the Zombies reared its head
and took my place,
crept into position
behind my un-sobered mind’s wheel.
In search of a milkshake
an already meaningless jaunt
A request from the back seat
It’s not a matter of yes or no –
Just duty.

Numbness plays its sweet victory over my limbs
My mind – a broken stop light
Flashing – but nonfunctioning –
A purposeless machine
like the broken ice cream maker
that greets us at the drive thru
as it has various days before
with the same answer
‘Not working’ they say
Day after day
The insanity repeats itself
hoping for a fix.

In the end, what does it matter to this
purpose waster
Zombie walker
duty deliverer?
Around and around this mother goes
Doing everything but nothing at all.

–Leslie DuFresne

Dancing on the razor’s edge

No mind

No body

Zero point

Shunya

Free falling in space

A fractal of light

A crystal skull starts vibrating

And shining iridescent

Never seen before

Patterns of light

Seeing through the eyes of Goddess

A lens of purity

Of Majesty

Of Dignity

Of Victory

Morphing into a hybrid

Human angel soul alien

A new hue-manity

Where sovereign wisdom reigns

We loved silently
It was eternal
Felt like our souls
Already knew each other

It was unquestioning
With no hope no desire
Separated by
An unbreakable frontier

We looked into
Each other’s eyes
Felt the touch for
One last time

Placed our love
On the burn of fire
Our journey stopped before
We even cross the aisle

In the hope of
Meeting again
Someday, somewhere
The wait was eternal

I knew the day was coming
After all it is the way
But I still can’t believe the time has come
My son went away today.
It only seems like yesterday
When I first held my baby boy
And from that very moment
I knew he would bring me joy.
From birthdays to holidays to games and such
The things I remember from memory lane
If only we could go back in time
So we could do them all over again
My Son Went Away Today
I hope he knows I love him
Love him with all my heart
And maybe I wasn’t always there
But I tried to do my part
And though I know it was his time to leave
Again because of the years
That won’t make me miss him less
As I try to hold back my tears
I know he’ll be happy
Experiencing the university way
But you have to allow me to be a little sad
My son went away today.

I killed myself last night

I murdered any doubt or fear I carried upon me like a kindergartener on the first day of school

I was the fool for too long

Smiling while lies and storytelling was sat in front of my door

I smile no more to incoming pain, I stand firm in confirming my liberation

Yes, I allowed him to use me up; I used his love as my therapy session, releasing frustration from physical and mental masturbation

Yet my cumming wasn’t enough to bring new life into our coming together

So I am ready to weather the storm in pure form, single, making each day a success

Each moment an accomplishment of what I am doing to better me in order to better my children, in order to better my community and those who listen to me

Last night I buried my sins and put them to rest

I acknowledged my wrongs and have moved past my past

I am ready to be the driver, the deliver, the provider, the informer of my life… I am reborn, I am set free, and I am alive and ready to live my wildest fantasy! Breathing…taking that first step…one day at a time

A killa of false hope…. Secrete Emotions

Proverbial towels weren’t allowed
In fifth period art class rules.
My sixth-grade teacher rarely smiled.
His firm but gentle voice
taught me to search my world
for excellence in life.
He led my class through narrow halls
toward hope at Mrs. Turner’s studio.

Art unveiled a world of promise
and my imagination soared.
We practiced all the fine techniques
and found new ways to cope
through art around the world.
To try again and strive
until we found our style—our voice—
until we faced the hurts that hid inside.

Perhaps that’s why I liked the world
of happy painting with Bob Ross.
The beauty in his little world,
His peaceful unmasked smile,
brought tools to carve my world,
not hide my scars within.
I feared the secrets and my tears.
It’s clear, gray shadows cloaked my childhood home.

And then I saw Christina’s world.
Distressed, she beckoned me to hope.
Bright sun-kissed meadows doused in rain
stirred freedom to create.
I climbed inside her world
of courage to escape.
Such brave attempts to claw at graves.
Unmasked, I struggled with the painting’s truth.

That’s when I found familiar roads
that led to sanctuary friends.
And healing flowed like mountain streams
as melancholy rose
inside this tumbling world.
Would staying home bring light?
I tore again at rusty chains.
Confused I searched and fought for something more.

My throat scraped thin and cries unheard,
at least that’s what I thought of God.
The mirror of my youth lay fogged
Yet present day was bleak.
The ugly muted world
The sadness and disease.
Should fear or dread define this time?
This year perplexed my heart weighed Covid’s threat.

My arms grew tired of mad debate
To wear a mask or hide away.
But light broke through the storm online
God’s love poured down like rain
And offered me His world.
Argument garnered rest.
Hope showered me and buried fear.
Rejoice! I welcomed peace. My faith increased.

Now, I look back into the past
at all the times I painted worlds.
Did Wyeth know his art could heal?
I drew a breath and sighed.
Dear Wyeth’s hand designed his world,
but Jesus found my voice.
His healing saturates my life,
My choice as God brings art to shine through me.

Everything I felt inside,
behind tall walls where I would hide
decades of pain, in which I try,
to wish away, forget, deny
Became a storm so dark and hollow,
where no one ever dared to follow
It came at once, a flood of years,
blasting out a million tears
My core it shook, my mind thrice rattled,
of demons unearthed from centuries long battle
With breath that quickened, chest impaled,
rage and sadness doth prevailed
My heart had stopped, my eyes unclear
Pain itself had rested here
No sword or shield, yet still I tried
To muster up a last goodbye
Clenched tight fists, I stumbled through
The absence of love that I named…you.

Science has proven that Energy is merely transformed.

Everyone makes the transition of being transformed into the next energy….sustaining Life and Death….the Neverending Circle. A cycle, similar to the science of the rain cycle or the seasons. Souls come down to Earth as babes and cycle out via Polihale. Souls lighter than air; as wind or condescension is to a cloud. Souls drift effortlessly back into the arms of The Source of All Creation and cycle down again, like rain, once the time is right….& so the cycle of Life and Death continues….Ever a journey, not a destination…Lifetimes learning the lessons of Love