POETRY Reading: When the Tide Went Out, by Terry Joseph

Narrated by Val Cole

POEM:

April 1, 1946
Hilo, Hawaii

It was the natural thing to do,
send the whole class
to play on the beach.

Where else could you enjoy recess
on the shore but the Aloha state?
Reflective Popsicle green waves topped

with whipped cream, every child’s fantasy.
Even the tide a dream, drawing itself
out like a final breath,

span of warm, tan sand reaching halfway
across the world. Teacher smiled,
permed hair breeze-dancing.

How pleased she was for noticing
how the expansive shoreline beckoned
that morning. Come, it whispered.

One glance out the window,
spontaneous alternative
from fenced playground.

Shouts. Beach balls. Tag. Globs
of wet sand lobbed to make the girls squeal,
laughter so much brighter on the beach.

Joy reached the heavens. Bare toes and
tiny arches etched delicate motif
of life, Zen of impermanence

that was supposed to erase
their footprints, not scoop them up
and swallow them.

The cries
of careening gulls were all that
remained.

POETRY Reading: Some March Night, by Ken Hada

Narrated by Val Cole

POEM:

when no one knows,
the wind will gust
again and again
until the final push
and the dead Elm
crashes in darkness –
and you won’t even know
it happened.

In darkness

Spring wind reforms
with pressure and gravity –
the touring planets
and conspicuous moon
cycles – the turmoil
of a planet in motion –
in a universe that never
sits still, never waits
on you.

Some March night

change has come, and
you are surprised? This
was foretold by the perpetrators
you blindly follow – and by
prophets you ignored,
or ridiculed and cursed
in your stupid self-
absorption.

You don’t know

how the wind blows,
so how can you make peace?
Preoccupied with pettiness,
you can’t possibly know
truth – love dissipates –
brotherhood falls headlong
on some sobering night
at the spurious mercy
of March wind.

POLITICAL Poem: If Jesus Was A Man, by Sydney Thompson

If Jesus was a man, He was written by a woman.
He would have been an ally A brother And a friend.

So why do you give me a Jesus you don’t understand?

Why does your Jesus say it’s okay to follow me down alleyways as I squeeze my partner’s hand
tighter and tighter terrified you’ll grab me and say how I have sinned while I only care that I
created the cancer that makes me a mother you scream that I’m a murderer (like I don’t
know that) I’m walking faster shaking more struggling with my keys against
the fight or flight that killed my fingers my car can’t unlock fast enough
and this parking lot is so much bigger than it needs to be I see a face I
think I know oh God she taught my grade ten physiology she knows
every pastor in the state an advocate for the unadvocatable
(at least that’s what she thinks) I’m scared you mangle
the words inside my head screaming out “you
fucking whore, do you not care for human
life?” I hide my head to save you the
burden of knowing the face of a
murderer matches your
daughter’s I open the
car door and you
grab my arm
YOU GR
AB MY
AR
M

why would you do this to me?

If Jesus was man, He was written by a woman.
A woman who would understand the hypocritic shouts of slurrers and southerners
Would do nothing but make a woman want to cry, And a man feel empowered.
As if I was nothing but a body for pleasure and parentage.
If Jesus was a man, he wouldn’t be like you.

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: Bussin Vibes, by Rajendra prasad Gupta

The night is young, the vibe’s so tight,
Music in the air, it’s feelin’ right.
The beat drops heavy, heart’s on fire,
This moment’s bussin’, pure desire.

We rollin’ deep, no need to flex,
Everything we do is top of the specs.
Laughs flyin’ high like stars above,
Every second feels like a kiss of love.

The food’s hot, it’s a flavor blast,
Spices hit different, time moves fast.
Friends by my side, we ain’t gonna miss,
This life is bussin’, pure bliss.

Catch the vibe, don’t miss the flow,
Bussin’ moments, always let ’em grow.
In this world, we just vibe and ride,
Chasin’ the joy, nothing to hide.

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem, by Lexie Vincenty

As much as I want to respond to the phrase “Have a great day!” with “Don’t tell me what to do”, I just smile and nod my head hoping that they go away. Why did we start saying that to people? Why would we wish that on people? I know I shouldn’t sound so cynical but honest to God I can’t help but think about this all the time. What if I’m not having a great day, or even a good day? What if I want to be miserable because everything else is just so miserable. I wake up, I stare at the ceiling before dragging myself out of my bed, and then I dress myself without checking the weather because I can’t be bothered to check my phone. I know it takes two seconds. I imagine what it would be like to have a good day while listening to music, and for a split second, I feel all right. And then I think about everything I have to do for the day. I know I don’t live a subjectively bad life, but most of the time I like passing the time being quiet and negative. It’s just so easy. I’ve thought about the reason why I’m like this and honestly, I couldn’t tell you one specific reason. My friends tried to diagnose me as well. Over the years we all have known each other, they have found one reason for my constant pessimism: I simply hate people. I need to be alone. So no, please do not tell me to have a great day. You telling me to do so will change absolutely nothing. Do not project onto me. Go about your way.

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: The Reason I Carry, by Matt Cooper

4.14.22.
Written as a Samsung Note dictation while driving from Newton to Wichita, KS.
No clouds were in the sky.

*Hang Me in the Tulsa County Stars by John Moreland playing through the radio on repeat.

After thinking about it for a while I have come to realize there is a reason why I carry around that old pistol in my guitar case.

And sure it’s because I like guns. Fuck it! No, I love guns. I like it that they’re loud and I like it that they’re shiny and have interchangeable parts that can be removed and put back and fiddle fucked with at will.

I like that Simplicity. Because I’m that simple and always have been. I’m a hillbilly so I like the bang bang of it

I like the boom bam bam of the sidearm that can make your bickering neighbors shut the fuck up at 4:00 a.m. if fired up at the sky with a safe angle

I like that I could remove someone from this Earth with it. Though I would never do that —at least not with malice in my heart. And I would never remove myself from earth with that old rusty pistol—

Because the idea of making my mother cry forever these days makes me so goddam tired.

At the end of the day for me it’s nothing more than a bow and arrow just moved forward a few hundred years.

But the reason I carry around this pistol in the same carrying case as my guitar? It’s just good luck, buddy. It’s cursed good luck—This gun. It’s a .22 that almost shot dead my stepfather who used to beat the shit out of my mother.

And it was owned by a dirty cop—my uncle. And my dirty cop uncle was an Indian—

And he was a decorated navy Minesweeper in the Mekong Delta in Vietnam.

So, it’s a trophy kinda. But It’s a pistol that I swore one day I would bury in my grandmother’s grave up in Custer County because again—it was cursed.

Hell, my cousin—the dirty cop’s son—almost shot himself in the temple with it.

Though it misfired at that particular moment. The hammer clicked and echoed across old Benton lake—reminding him that it wasn’t quite time yet.

And I pray on that. I pray on it because this pistol keeps not killing anyone

But yeah, I swore one day I would bury the gun the way it needs to be buried—the way things that try to kill people and that are owned by criminals should be forever. But no, I carry it around every day because in some ways it’s an instrument just like that old guitar.

And it scares some people that I carry guns around. But the thing is, they just don’t realize the truth of it. They don’t know how important these talismans are. When you carry around something that was once owned by Outlaws and you don’t use it the way Outlaws used it—

That makes you a curator and an appreciator of the annihilation that could be but never really will be—the annihilation that by god, never has to be!

I carry around this cowboy gun with me wherever I go. Because I know it was once held in the hand of an Indian who at least in some small way looked a little bit like me. He was not a cowboy though. He was an Indian who remembered the Tonka Wa Reservation like a good scary dream.

And I think about the fact every day that he held this gun in his hands and put it to my stepfather’s shaking pissing face and he said, “now listen here you little motherfucker!…If you lay another hand on my niece… You are going to see what Red means forever and nothing else.”

And I take pride in that. It’s a sick Pride. It’s a pride that poisons Hearts, but I can’t get over it, baby.
and it’s because I do like guns. Now— I don’t like all of them.

But the special ones, the ones that end Wars and the ones that you stick in motherfuckers faces to get them to stop being the way they are?

I like those guns a lot. Yeah, I love those guns. Because when you familiarize yourself with those instruments—the kinds of instruments that can stop pulses in a single moment—You realize that it’s possible to hold wild power in your hands and just laugh at it as though it were something flaccid. Something muted—a fun toy memorializing a war
that used to be fought over and over

At the gasping expense of entire races of people.

I love that. So, I will probably go on carrying around this pistol with me forever. Because it is cursed, yes.

But it’s also a totem for good poiesis—

And I love that more than anything in the world.

It’s funny too—because one night in a bit of inspired thought, I removed the cylinder in front of the hammer, behind the barrel, above the ebony hand grip and replaced it— I replaced the place where the bullets used to go—with wadded up bible verses that had my mother’s name scribbled on them.

It seemed like a ritual. A real one. Not just like in church when you kneel and it’s supposed to mean something.

So It helps me write songs—this pistol—and I know that it’s dangerous but that in my hands it never will be.

Never again will it be held to a man’s head—

Any or especially mine!

It will only help me mend

And

Remember

them;

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: The Panes on my Body, by Hajer Requiq

You said the world wouldn’t crumble
if you touched me.
You tried importing comfort
to a body that dieted
on native fear.
You tried undoing
the workings of Culture
inside my flesh
and couldn’t see how deep
the Culture
‘did’ me.

I remember before going out,
as a little girl,
Mama would always
curtain the panes
on my body
while the neighbours’ girls strolled
shutter-less
and un-draped.

Even then, I knew
what the Culture gave some,
it took from so many.

I remember envying
how the daylight
flirted with the other girls
and wondering why the Culture
never touched them
as hard
as it touched
me.

Even then, I knew if I wanted
the light to break through my glass,
I had to let it
break me —

You said the world
wouldn’t crumble
if we touched,
and I said
it will, it will.

In this story,
the world always crumbled —
When the cherry blossoms
ripened on my chest,
when school boys
gripped at my dress trim
for the first time,
when I used chalk
to powder my face
and pinched my cheeks
for two minutes straight
to feign some rose-colour.
In my story,
the world always crumbles
in some way or other,
and Mama goes
and fixes it for me,
the neighbourhood’s Imam*
fixes it for me,
the Culture fixes it for me —
I don’t know for how long
I let their fixing
break me.

And now,
after years of window-sealing
and glass-shutting,
I can’t tell
if my panes were breaking
or simply opening up
when we first started
touching

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: The Crusador’s Canto, by Kyle Mickelson

Io, the old flame gutters in the crypta!
Flame of the Sol Invictus, dying, reborn,
Spilling gold as in the age of the Dacians,
When the plinths of marble bled red beneath Trajan’s boot.
Hail, Mithras! Hail, Christos!
Dual masks upon the one eternal face—
And the temple remains, foundation sunk in Albion’s loam,
Veined with the whisper of Enoch’s tongue.

Through nave-light—sepulchral—
The crusader kneels where the phantoms whisper,
Twelve elder shades in their orbits about him,
Twelve-fold in Saturn’s cruel passage—
A wheel turned upon the lot of men.
The psalms rise—psalms of the bull’s throat cut,
Of Bethlehem, of blood and bread made one,
Cresting on the air like the wail of Rome’s last oracles.

O’ pale moon of the hearth, his wife;
Her hands clasped round the child’s soft skull—
A babe as yet unscribed by fate,
For now but a whorl of breath in the spinning void.
She speaks not—only the hush of cloth,
The susurrus of veils unwound; fate’s tapestry.

Then the bell—Ah, that infernal knell!
That Saturnine toll, unmaking!
Out beyond the cloister, the destrier paws,
A black-hoofed omen, sleek as Ereshkigal’s hounds,
Bridle bound with sigils of Mars,
Steel spurs that kissed the bones of Hispania.

And the crusader—he mounts—
Gold and shadow writ upon him,
Sun-masked like Apollo of the faltering lyre,
Yet heart a dirge, mouth parched as the Sibyl’s.
Eastward! Eastward! Where the stars in retrograde
Mark the hour of slaughter,
Where Mithras’ old altars wait beneath Jerusalem’s ruin.

Ah! Jerusalem, blasted bride of Solomon,
Torn veil of the sanctuary—
City of sevenfold grief, harlot of conquests,
Where the feet of Caesars crushed the cedars of Hiram.

Blood pools in the suq, thick as Lethean draught;
Slaughter in the streets, each arch a vaulted requiem.
Steel upon steel, the tympanum of Mars,
And the muezzin’s call—sung now with a faltering breath—
Meets the organum of crusader hymns;
Chant echoing chant, faith ripping into faith.

The crusader moves—a shade among the fray,
Sword lifted like Anubis’ scale—
Here is the measure of men,
The weight of their sins carved in flesh.
The Saracen leaps—
Scimitar arcs, a crescent blade to sunder him—
Yet Fate, the old and blind king, guides the crusader’s hand.
His blade—a baptism of iron—
Plunges deep into the hollows of his foe;
Red libation unto the sand.

Years churn like Ixion’s wheel,
Unrelenting, unmerciful.
Mercy—a thing of poets,
Wilted as the laurels of fallen empire.
Cinders float where temples burned,
Shrines blackened; the Tower of Babel felled anew.
Allah’s moon, once bright, now hangs in the sky
A cold, rusted sickle.

And the crusader—behold him!—
A shadow cast in dented steel,
His eyes void of Saxon light;
The cross upon his shield—
Once bright with the white of saints—
Now marred, now worn,
A relic of ruin.

Through fen and fog, he comes,
Not the golden youth of Heaven’s grace,
But the revenant, wraith-draped, silence-bound,
A blade unburied, unshriven.

The hedgerows whisper the old names,
Names that still pulse in the ley-lines,
Names that are sung in the tongues of the dead.
The village—unchanged, yet distant,
A relic of time’s immutable cruelty.

Upon the door, his gauntlet hovers—
O’ the threshold once warm with his wife’s breath!
Here, where his fingers once traced her cheek,
Where his child’s laughter rang light as Orpheus’ lyre.
Yet—what voice is this?
Laughter, bright, unburdened!
A child’s voice, familiar—yet unknown.

Then her voice—
Calling, shaping the air with his name,
A sculpted breath, brittle, breakable.
But the crusader is no longer;
Only the husk of war,
A wight, a wraith, a thing tempered in sorrow.

His name is lost—
The road calls, unrelenting.
And so he turns, fading into the dusk,
A knight of silence, bound to the long pilgrimage,
Never to return, never to rest.

And behind him,
The bells toll—
Not for him, not for the dead—
But for the road that swallows all men whole.

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: The Storm, by Amy Vile Junod

We are not the whisper of history,
We are the storm of what is to be.
We are not shadows, silent and weak,
We are the fire that dares to speak.

Still, they gather in their gilded towers,
debating rights that were always ours.
Still, they burn laws in our skin,
branding wars they said we couldn’t win.
Still, they cage what love creates,
as if steel can hold what fate dictates.

Bartering our dignity like a debt,
a promise spoken, then swiftly they forget.
They carve our bodies into battlegrounds,
marked by laws we never crowned.
But hear us now, our chains will break,
for we were born to rise and wake.

A woman’s body is not a field,
Not a war to lose or yield.
It is hers, her fire, her choice,
her truth, with thunder in her voice.

Love is not a line in the sand,
but more a wave that swallows the land.

So let them argue, let them fight,
Over unseen borders blurred by fright.
Over walls that crack and fall,
Over wars that end us all.

We stand, unyielding, fierce, and proud,
With our silence now roaring out loud.

For power does not lie in fists that break,
but it lies in those who will not shake.

We no longer wait, not pleading to rise,
We are the tempest in their quiet skies.
And love that’s unyielding, wild, untamed
will rise when all else burns in the flame.

DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE Poem: Conviction, or The Devouring,

One month went by where I didn’t get you. I didn’t feel it. And now it’s been two more
months, and in that time, I have fallen into such deep limerence it’s torn me apart from the
inside out, a wolf gnawing at its own leg.

I’m giving you too much power. It’s not you, not the real you, but the you I’ve conjured in
the fevered dark, the you that has taken root in my ribs and burrowed deep beneath my
skin. It’s the way I perceive you, the way I worship your every step, how I tilt my head to the
light when you enter a room like some pathetic flower craning toward the sun. My devotion
is grotesque, obscene, something sticky and unbearable, a sickness I can’t scrape off my
skin. Before I met you, I felt pretty, I felt enough, I felt like a girl someone might want to
love. And then you touched my world, and suddenly I am nothing but an homely, desperate
thing. I have never felt worse in my life; never felt uglier, fatter, never felt so embarrassed,
never felt so little desire to live.

I am waiting for the this is over phase, but my feelings for you are only getting worse,
spreading like rot, a bruise blooming outward instead of fading away. It’s not even a push
and pull anymore, it’s just push, push, push—until I’m at the cliff’s edge and you’re
standing there, inches away, not even needing to raise a hand to send me over. Just looking
at you is enough. Just knowing I’ll never be looked at in return.

This was always supposed to be about God. But it’s become about you, hasn’t it? Where is
my God when I peer at your pale skin and imagine my bite marks? You make me want to sin
in ways I can’t even name. You make me want to swallow my own heart whole. They tell me
to let you go, that I have to, that I must, but how do you release something that never
belonged to you in the first place?

That’s not an option when you feel nothing for me, when I am nothing but background
noise, a flicker of static in your bright and brilliant world. Am I the childlike jester, put here
to amuse you? Am I the fat cow you wouldn’t even consider for dinner? They can’t make me
give you up if you never once reached for me. It was never yours to take, and yet I am still
hollowed out. I am still emptied. I must be hideous, right? That’s what it is? My
asymmetrical eyes? The stretch marks? The too-large nose, the soft body, the too-small
teeth? You’re hardly perfect yourself, but I would consume every inch of you without
hesitation. You are infinitely more beautiful than I could ever be.

I’m thinking about starving myself, starting tomorrow. Maybe if I shrink, you’ll see me. Maybe if I disappear, you’ll notice. I never thought about Botox until you walked into my life. Needles, chemicals, risk—games I swore I’d never play, games you’ve suffered through, games I now consider like a whispered promise.

How I wish I never joined. I don’t know if this was ever meant to be—how could something this painful be an act of God? Today was unbearable. I almost had to go to the hospital, just to escape my own mind, just to get away from myself. I wanted to feel something sharper, something real, something to drag me out of this endless loop of ache.

We could never work. You’re uninterested, unavailable, untouchable. And I’m just obsessed, infatuated, a fool with a noose of my own making. Maybe I am a little bit in love. Maybe that’s the problem. You are out of my league, a plane of existence above me, and I should know better, I should turn away, but oh— I’ve never met anyone like you. I could live off the sound of your voice alone.

If I say one more thing, it’s that it’s not your fault you hurt me. It’s my fault. My mind is built for this kind of suffering, this kind of spiraling, this kind of one-track devotion. I am writing this to try to let you go, but I already know I won’t. A couple of people know. The girl told me she could see it in the way I look at you—I had no idea I was that obvious. That’s humiliating. That’s horrifying. I don’t think I can talk to you anymore. I adore you, I really fucking do, but I can’t keep peeling off my own skin like this. I can’t keep losing more of myself in something I never had to begin with.

This is my conviction to leave you alone. I’m sorry for the unwanted attention, the lines I have crossed, the boundaries I have ignored. I am hoping, praying, that you don’t know, that you never know, that maybe you just think I needed a friend. I do need a friend. But they told me I have to strip myself of all feelings before I can be that.

I am convinced you love her. And I love her too, God, I do, but her beauty was the first sign, the first nail in the coffin, the first proof that you could never look my way. Why would you, when you’ve seen the loveliest fruit on the tree? Why settle for me, when you have tasted the best? I cried so much today it could have been a personal record. I also scratched myself raw, screamed into the receiver, got multiple worried calls, lived in my own selfish suffering for what felt like centuries. It’s 4 AM now, and still, you have not left me.

Why can’t you be attracted to me? Why can’t you love me back? Why can’t you be within my faith? I adore you, I adore you, I adore you. I do not know how I will survive this. With the utmost love and ruin, Taylor