Tag: by Franco D’Alessandro

POETRY READING: Leopard Club Love, by Franco D’Alessandro

Performed by Allison Kampf

LEOPARD CUB LOVE

by Franco D’Alessandro

I’ve loved you like a leopard cub from the day

You stalked into my classroom -flip-flopping

Around the circle of desks- staring at me,

Wondering aloud: “who the hell is this guy?”

You were a problem child I wanted to solve;

So I picked you up and carried you in my gritted teeth,

Slapped you around with a tender paw until you fell into line.

You were just like a lost leopard cub, separated from family,

The one that had a twin but needed to be on his own.

We’re leopards, you and me -social, secretive, and solitary.

But when I spotted you alone,

Laid out -paralyzed- on the ground,

I lept down from my classroom tree

And roared onto the field, to protect you, my cub,

Who, somehow, unreasonably, seemed a part of me.

You crashed like a meteor, at 14, into my life

On that too-hot September day and began to wreak your happy havoc

In a stagnant place that unknowingly longed for you.

Like Odysseus readily recognized his long lost Telemachus,

We knew our souls knew each other.

I still don’t know why I chose you -and you, me-

To let in.

When you asked me to “bring it in”… I held you for that first hug,

I suddenly knew that what life, loss, and lost love

Had long denied me, destiny had laughingly fulfilled.

You were a missing piece I pretended wasn’t necessary.

You accepted my almost barren, childless heart -I thought unworthy of a son’s love.

But answered prayers have a way of walking into

Our empty rooms so quietly.

Your trust I’ve cherished holding;

Pieces of you I carry like secret treasures unfolding.

You -not of my flesh but of my soul;

That silent prayer that -in being answered-

Made me whole.

ALL-STAR DESIRE, by Franco D’Alessandro

As a high school football player, I wanted to die

Every day;

Not kill myself…

Just die

A lot.

End it all. Be a hero. Not a queer-o.

As a high school football player, I was an

All-Star;

I wanted to love among those stars,

Not tread the earth among the constant fear;

I never knew the courage it took to wake up each day,

To not let the world know of the small explosions

That pulsed through my soul -the longings

For that unspoken unspeakable moment when

Everything is to be told

and he’s holding me.

At 17, the more I grew, the stronger I became

The less alive I felt

I was a faint fire in those wild, frozen ephebic woods

Waiting and wanting to warm anyone;

Comforted by only the warm whisper of coulds

I would do so much, I wanted

To do so much more,

But my self-imposed exile was an outstretched hand

To no man’s land.

Then I read A Streetcar Named Desire

And somehow saw myself in some way in Blanche

I didn’t want to kill myself.

The first boy I ever kissed did that –

the day after he lovingly set my lips afire.

Yes; Love… all at once and much too completely *

I just wanted more and more

-I was an expanding galaxy of want-

My only need, desire

I wanted more- than Blanche, and Brick, and Chance, and Lady…

I fell impossibly in love with a college boy named Nick,

And chased him for two years living on hope and maybe.

When I was a high school football player

I wanted

More to hide than be seen;

And I wanted more to be dead than alive;

But then I learned that

death is the opposite of desire, *

And I wanted so much more than to just survive,

To be so much more than just alive;

I wanted…SO MUCH….

I wanted

To be someone’s fire

I wanted

More and more and more

To be desired.

*lines spoken by Blanche DuBois from A Streetcar Named Desire

LEOPARD CUB LOVE, by Franco D’Alessandro

I’ve loved you like a leopard cub from the day
You stalked into my classroom —flip-flopping
Around the circle of desks— staring at me,
Wondering aloud: “who the hell is this guy?”

You —who crashed like a meteor, at 14, into my life
On that too-hot September day— began to wreak your happy havoc
In a stagnant place that unknowingly longed for you.
Like Odysseus readily recognized his long lost Telemachus,
We knew our souls knew each other.

You were a problem child I wanted to solve;
So I picked you up and carried you in my gritted teeth,
Slapped you around with a tender paw until you fell into line.
You were just like a lost leopard cub, separated from family,
The one that had a twin but needed to be on his own.

We’re leopards, you and me -social, secretive, and solitary.
But when I spotted you alone,
Laid out -paralyzed- on the ground,
I leapt down from my classroom tree
And roared onto the football field, to protect you, my cub,
Who, somehow, unreasonably, seemed a part of me.

I still don’t know why I chose you -and you, me-
To let in.
But in that late spring,
when you asked me to “bring it in”
For that first hug, I held you and,
Suddenly, knew that what life, loss, and lost love
Had long denied me, destiny had laughingly fulfilled.
Like a dozing puzzle-player,
You were a missing piece I pretended wasn’t necessary.
And I still don’t know why
You accepted my queer, childless, lone-leopard heart
I so long thought
Unworthy of a son’s love.

But answered prayers have a way of prowling into
Our empty rooms so quietly.
Your trust I’ve cherished holding;
The phases of your wild youth
I carry like secret treasures unfolding.
You, not of my flesh but of my soul;
That silent prayer that —in being answered—
Made me whole.