As I sit by the window….
gun in my hand wanting to go to the promise land
Father Time told me my time was up and he grabbed my hand
Waiting for a nigga to jump aiming straight for a gland
this is how i do it
One bullet two bullet as I loaded the clip
thats when realization hits
Would I soar through pearly gates or touch the ashes of hell
This thing I thought was a gun clearly just a figment
I didn’t wanna stain the carpet with my red pigment
Now a body lays with no life but no bang
its crazy because i can still feel the life pumping through my veins
You would’ve thought we were conjoined as pain we shared
if this is it what did i contribute to this world besides the fame
Why would the world spit this event into my peripheral
My glutenous appetite devours those who entertain
My insecurities and those who make me forget my pain
Ask the Son of God for more blessings and he gives me rain
I don’t question my actions when I recognize my motives
Gun to my head, waiting for the perfect moment
As you can see my vision wasn’t false
My imagination caused me to go off impulse
Forced to be confined to a place of darkness
Who can I blame for all this madness you ask
That question and answer involve a deadly task
But do you dare go deeper
Look at the body and reach in its pocket
There you will find out my secrets and such
I pass lives on the daily
Maybe I push my faith
Insecurities challenge me
Maybe my hope’s too late
I start running down the street
The reason I’m losing weight
But the demons catch up to me
Suicide thoughts in my brain
Fuck it I took one life why not take my own
Who gonna miss me when I’m gone
I should go ahead and wrap this up
No more plus I won’t last Jail
It’ll be easier to survive in the place they call hell
I let the bullet rip and destroy the memories I made
Red pigment on the floor, sorry for the clean up maid
The moment the trigger pulled my feet had touched the floor
Ashes of bones and fire, hell is where I am home
The demons run scared knowing that I arrived
Cus I wasn’t scared to take my own after taking another life