Today, I woke up after an astronomical snooze of 11 hours.
I had already broken said experience once throughout the night, though.
Approximately 2:41-2:46 AM, I rose.
Bursting through the door, to release my “only human” bladder; how comical.
I just killed a fruit fly, and to my amazement, I wasn’t phased.
Just like this, everything differs. Now you’re probably wondering overall, what differs in killing a fruit fly? The method in which you go about it, the momentum of your grip, the intensity of your squeeze – or the thoughts throughout? For me within this instance, ‘Twas the ladder. Gratefully enough, it was not a juxtaposition. I sought to do it, and my actions fulfilled said desire. This is where it differs; usually, when it comes to ending the life of another, regardless of its form, I feel remorse and question whether it’s worthwhile or not. Inevitably it isn’t, although acceptably it is when a mosquito is sucking the literal blood out from your meat suit.
I understand how horrid, when out of context, that the last sentences can sound. “When it comes to ending the life of another”… In my realm of things, this specifically pertains to insects. Unless for a means of absolute survival, I could not and would not end the life of any sentient life form. This is an interesting one to ponder, whilst heading forth through the cycle of ones day to day. Alongside, a plethora of other concepts. Contemplate it! How ironically enough, one ponders how they lack the time and or means to ponder… When truly within the instant – you are fulfilling the thing you are questioning. I suppose one could say this is nearly a form of manifestation. Who am I to be said, “one” who could say such a thing, I ask myself. As I type away to the nonsensical existence of my keyboard. Witnessing the chirping and clicking of the keys – formulating what derives from within, into a tangible form which now exists among the physical reality.
This morning, June 30th of 2020, I woke up to my other dog barking at my roommate heading out for work.
In other words, I woke up in a fit of fright; triggers ignited, senses overloaded. Abolishing any means of conjoining my internal fleets in preparation to head forth into another day of the uphill battle. My internal shelves were dismantled; leaving me vulnerable for defeat. Though every person is inevitably perishable, we each share an uncanny ability as well. The knack of perseverance brings into oneself, the light of possibility and potential. Traversing an instinctive reaction, perseverance clasps onto the finite details of one’s insight and carries the subconscious along; igniting correlation with one’s conscience. Absolute duality, headed forth brilliantly; fight or flight becoming the new node. Each intermingling, your psyche questions sensory overload. How will you react? Well, this depends on the accumulated amount of unaddressed aspects of the self. Which exactly? Darling, it is so individualistic to each being. If it were able to be summarized, the dictionary wouldn’t exist.
At the wake of existence, each of us decidedly came here. Whether downtrodden or purely uplifted. It all pans out.