IF EVER TO A DINNER PARTY BY THE FAMILY KNOWN AS DONNER YOUāRE INVITED,
IF I WERE YOU, I TRULY WOULDNāT BECOME TOO EXCITED.
IMMEDIATELY UPON YOUR ARRIVAL, YOU DISCOVER THAT THEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH A HOSTESS WHO WILL BE MORTALLY OFFENDED WHEN YOU REVEAL
THAT YOUR STAY WILL NOT BE EXTENDEDā
YOUR DIETICIAN RECOMMENDED YOU ONLY EAT A VERY LIGHT MEAL
AND YOU LEARN YOU ARE INTENDED AS THE MAIN COURSE ON THE MENUā
AS A GOURMET SUBSTITUTE FOR A FILLET OF MILK-FED VEAL!
YOUāLL BE SERVED UP WITH BOULIABAISE PLUS A GARNISHEEā
AND ALLSPICE, IF YOU DONāT HEED MY ADVICE AND VERY QUICKLY FLEE!
THE DONNER FAMILY DINNER PARTY HAVE A WELL-HONED APPETITE
THAT IS QUITE HEARTY, ESPECIALLY FOR LONG-PIG, AKA HUMAN FLESH,
THEY ARE ALL FOR CONSUMINā IT WITH SPICES SUCH AS CUMINā
BUT ONLY WHEN IT HAS BEEN BUTCHERED FRESH.
THEY PREFER IT WHEN IT HAS BEEN WELL-STEWED IN A POT,
FOR DINNER, LUNCH OR AN AFTERSCHOOL SNACK;
BUT THEYāLL DEVOUR IT WHETHER ITāS COLD OR HOT,
THEY START TO DROOL AND THEIR LIPS THEY SMACK.
MY MUSCLES WELL-BROILED AND BRAZED UPON A ROASTING SPIT OR RACKā¦ā¦
WHEN I ENCOUNTERED THE JUNIOR BONNERS IT WAS NO CHANCE MEETINGā
IT HAD FOR A LONG TIME BEEN THEIR CHERISHED GOALā
I SHOULD HAVE QUICKLY FLED AT THEIR FIRST GREETING;
THOUGH AT FIRST GLANCE, IT WAS MERELY FLEETING.
I COULDNāT HAVE KNOWN THAT I WAS FATED TO PAY A TERRIBLE TOLL.
ANY ATTEMPTED ESCAPE WOULD HAVE PROVEN SELF-DEFEATING;
THEY WERE DETERMINED TO EXECUTE THEIR CHOSEN ROLE;
EACH TO PERFORM WITH GUSTOāNOT TO MENTION LUST, OHā
WHICH ENTAILS MY STEAMING ENTRAILS BEING SERVED UP IN A BOWL;
MY BODY FLAYED, MY HEAD DISPLAYED UPON A SHARPENED POLE!
THE DONNER FAMILY DINNER PARTIES HAVE A WELL-EARNED REPUTATION FOR MASTICATIONā¦
MY LIFEBLOOD IN A BEAKER WOULD HAVE BEEN BRIMMING,
AFTER STRAINING AND SKIMMING THROUGH A SIEVE;
THE AUVOIR DUPOIS, AFTER TRIMMING, WOULD HAVE BEEN CONSIGNED TO SUET;
WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN THINKING AS THEY WERE DRINKING ITā
LIKE A CHAMPAGNE SPLITā
BUT I WAS DETERMINED NOT TO ALLOW SOME CANNIBAL TO EXERCISE HIS MANDIBLE,
WHILE HIS THIRST HE SLAKED,
THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF WITH A CAKE OR PIE IN WHICH MY SWEETMEATS HAD BEEN BAKEDā¦ā¦
INSTEAD I VERY QUICKLY DID A FLIT!
THAT WAS THE WORST NIGHTMARE, EVEN AFTER EXTREMELY LIGHT FAREā
IāM REALLY GLAD I DIDNāT DIEā
IāVE COMPLETELY LOST MY APPETITE!
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