At ocean’s edge
I pledge
a solemn oath
to both
the sea and sky
that I
shall be as true
with you
in harmony
with me.
At ocean’s edge
I pledge
a solemn oath
to both
the sea and sky
that I
shall be as true
with you
in harmony
with me.
Words are
falling,
tumbling, to
the ground
enjambments
spilling down
railways
without
a sound-
poets, are
whimpering,
writers,
simpering,
readers
wrestling
words
roughly,
regretting
this word
squall
realizing-
this poet,
has
abused
them
all.
GENRE(s): Popcorn Poetry, Writing, Humor, Life, Human Condition, Relationships
After centuries of living with nothing, but my love to you, friends,
I found myself surrounded by the luxury of feelings and I am safe
now, I am alive, I am breathing again, but where were you, my friends,
when I was broken? I am calm now, but where were you my friends
when the emptiness encircled me and I was afraid? Where are the friends
when I need them most? I was yearning for knowledge, but from this
day on, I don’t want to know a thing except for, will I be able or not
to love you again, friends. Maybe everything and maybe nothing that I
have given or maybe not given away will ever be really as mine, as my
own breath? Hello friends, I found you after centuries of living with nothing
but my expectations — our life is what our expectations are. I thank you all.
David Dephy
January 2, 2020
#thebeatpoetuk
This is a memoir,
A tale about love.
A story about a girl,
Who’s now an angel up above.
Taken too soon by,
Workers from hell.
Now this is her story,
That she could never tell.
To understand this soul,
Let’s go back a few years.
To a time in her life,
When she was close to her peers.
The eldest of six,
But back then it was three,
Big sister to all and
All a daughter could be.
An actress, a model,
Ballet Superstar.
This girl had some talent,
Told would always go far.
This was always to be,
Her path was so clear.
But then something called love,
Just suddenly appeared.
She fell for another,
Who’s gaze was hypnotic.
Felt instantly for him,
Not knowing he’s psychotic.
At first she was happy,
Life’s great a perfect time.
Then money started to get,
Really really fine.
He would spend all she had,
Kept wanting more.
Saying he was looking for work,
“I love you”, 20 draw?
After a while
His addiction got to her,
But not in a way,
Where she saw his worth.
She started using,
Couldn’t take the stress.
She loved him so much,
Didn’t want anything less.
At first is was..
Just to calm her down,
A edge taker, nothing heavy..
One time around.
She wished she could of..
Taken it right back,
But the feeling it gave her,
Had such a smack.
On her life in that moment
All troubles had gone,
No money worries,
NOTHING AT ALL…Was wrong.
It was only after her..
Little trip,
Did she soon feel a low,
A sudden hit.
A rush of emotions,
All piled up in stacks.
All issues in life,
That she put to the back.
Gripping her mind
In a toxic like glove,
The lowest she been
Now in walks her love.
He walks over towards her,
Places his hand on her back,
Moves her hair from her face
And kisses her neck.
He tells her “it’s ok,
Things are gonna be alright”..
While he hands her a joint
Then hands her the light.
She’s crying, feeling drained,
Just wanting to escape..
Then she takes a toke,
Suddenly feeling very strange..
It’s not a
Normal high,
Nothing green
About this smoke?
“It’s just a little white, go on take a few more tokes”
She’s hazy, her worlds spinning,
She doesn’t have a clue..
He’s over by the couch
Lining up another few.
As she stumbles to the bathroom
Trying to get a grip.
Looking for her bag,
Finding nothing in it.
All contents on the floor,
No money in sight.
She looks over towards him,
And he asks for a light.
Its obvious to her,
But she wants to hear it from him,
His temper arises,
And he goes for a swing!
She falls to the ground, saying..
“I know it’s not you!”
He kindly helps her up,
And walks her to the lou..
Saying..
“Sorry baby boo,
You just get me so angry,
When you say things
I didn’t do”
She walks out
From the bathroom,
He floods her
With his touch.
Holds her close,
Saying sorry,
Gripping her,
Way too much!
She try’s to pull away
He pulls her in his space,
Saying “sorry babe! I love you”
Then he forces in fast pace!
Although this is this first time,
It happens for years to come,
But this is the very moment
That brought it all on
Over time she lost it all,
Nothing left but only him.
Never finding the strength to
Really make a grin.
He used her
For cash
Treated her body
As asset,
Doing things she
Didn’t want to,
Maked him money
For their habit..
Made her sell out
On the corner,
For their daily
Rush amount,
All the time
She is thinking
Please someone!
Help me out!
Her family at this time
Were now scattered all around
Wanting her safety
Trying to bring her too closer ground.
But she couldn’t leave the country,
As this was down to him.
She got arrested for possession,
And done for smuggling.
He left a stash at her place,
That was stolen from a gang
Police came banging at her door,
And dragged her in a van.
After doing time
For his actions,
She was never
Quite the same.
Entire life
Fucked over,
Prick!
Nowhere to be blamed.
She’s running from her life,
No other way she sees
Trying to heal the pain
But can never feel a breeze
Disconnected from the world
No other way she knows
Trapped in a net of
Misery from those..
Lost soul.
She’s a lost,
lost soul.
By
#thebeatpoetuk
Niall Alexander
The beaten, the homeless
the mentally ill
trudge city streets
in the kinship of defeat,
dreams departed
like so many others
who believed in the Declaration,
who believed in the Constitution
and painfully found
it wasn’t written for them.
—
Gary Beck has spent most of his adult life as a theater director and worked as an art dealer when he couldn’t earn a living in the theater. He has also been a tennis pro, a ditch digger and a salvage diver. His original plays and translations of Moliere, Aristophanes and Sophocles have been produced Off Broadway. His poetry, fiction and essays have appeared in hundreds of literary magazines and his published books include 23 poetry collections, 7 novels, 3 short story collections, 1 collection of essays and 1 collection of his one-act plays. Published poetry books include: Dawn in Cities, Assault on Nature, Songs of a Clerk, Civilized Ways, Displays, Perceptions, Fault Lines, Tremors, Perturbations, Rude Awakenings, The Remission of Order, Contusions and Desperate Seeker (Winter Goose Publishing. Forthcoming is Learning Curve); Blossoms of Decay, Expectations, Blunt Force, Transitions and Mortal Coil (Wordcatcher Publishing, forthcoming is Temporal Dreams) Earth Links (Cyberwit Publishing: forthcoming Too Harsh For Pastels). His novels include a series ‘Stand to Arms, Marines’: Call to Valor, Crumbling Ramparts and Raise High the Walls (Gnome on Pigs Productions). Acts of Defiance, Flare Up and Still Defiant (Wordcatcher Publishing: forthcoming is Pirate Spring). Extreme Change will be published by Winter Goose Publishing. State of Rage will be published by Cyberwit Publishing. His short story collections include: A Glimpse of Youth (Sweatshoppe Publications). Now I Accuse and other stories (Winter Goose Publishing) and Dogs Don’t Send Flowers and other stories (Wordcatcher Publishing). The Republic of Dreams and other essays (Gnome on Pig Productions). The Big Match and other one act plays (Wordcatcher Publishing, Forthcoming: Collected Plays of Gary Beck Vol 1). Gary lives in New York City.
Performed by Hannah Ehman
AI! AI! AI! (A Tartarus for Youth), by David Estringel
I.
AI! AI! AI!
Sated with stolen life,
emerged from mother’s Night,
there is longing to be free
from the warmth of darkened humours–
to be crowned by The Light of Artificial Gods.
Our worlds quake and rip,
tossing us upon gory shores
beyond fertile crests,
illuminated by a cold Sun.
Messengers sweep down in clouds of winged oblivion
to wet lips with Lethe’s waters
upon cruel fingertips.
“Shhhh.”
II.
AI! AI! AI!
Blinded,
light brings pain
in rushes of movement and sound
that sting the flesh.
Icy
with invasions
of steel and sterile prodding,
souls rouse to profess philosophies
in cries and screams
that crack the air,
unheard
like the falling of leaves upon the ground
from distant trees
III.
AI! AI! AI!
Swaddled bodies,
searched in vain for the safety of familiarity,
tell much, tell little
like symbols in scrying mirrors.
Their fictions, written with sweat and tears,
anointing
foreheads, eyes, and lips
with benedictions of shameful regret.
As if it were better to have the heads of babes
dashed and bloodied
upon the Rock,
than to suffer Spartan destinies, impaired.
Left only to linger—a world apart—
in bloodless mediocrity.
IV.
AI! AI! AI!
What are these ragged paths
to be stumbled upon
under tender foot,
with stones that cut
and scratching thorns from the briar
that temper flesh,
supple and pink,
making hard what was once soft to the touch.
Fed by an earth
that feasts on cuts,
bodies devolve to walk upright—and alone
upon roads, paved with the hands and backs
of brethren.
Knuckles crunching beneath soles like so much gravel.
V.
AI! AI! AI!
O, the passion of attainment,
upon which the masses engorge,
aimless in its metal
and promises
of faceless adulations
and the settling of laurelled wreathes
upon heads of cartilage!
How empty, these violent strikes against the Self,
incessant and passionless,
carving out pounds of flesh,
victory for victory,
‘til nothing remains–
all for narratives
that are not their own.
VI.
AI! AI! AI!
How thirsty are these–
the razor-tongued buds of spring.
Driven
to the drinking of others’ tears
for satisfaction of sanguine thirsts.
To revel
in the tearing
of white petals
from tender stems
with poisoned fingertips,
delighting in themselves,
as if masters of ceremonies
at blood-lettings
and vivisections.
VII.
AI! AI! AI!
The sooth of touch’s fidelity
has melted away–
soured–
like cream in the sun.
Replaced,
the quality of distance
makes, explicit, one’s worth,
across arid plains
of air and silence.
Fallen away, the allures and charms
of communion,
only to make room
for the play of shadows
on Plato’s walls.
VIII.
AI! AI! AI!
There is a science,
oppressive
and cold,
behind the collisions of heavenly bodies of light (in love)—
clashing
explosions of atoms
over chasms—
the spaces in between—
that define and separate.
Souls, burning brightly,
cannot coexist
in their starry majesties
without a surrendering of fire.
My Ares takes your Aphrodite.
IX,
AI! AI! AI!
Upon paths paved with gold,
under the azure
of a fanning sky,
herds
are driven in blithe procession
to the precipice.
Cast into the maw
of their society.
Without the iron shielding of wings,
they perish,
masticated,
like everyman’s meat,
leaving them shades
that stain the wintry air.
X.
I, I, I,
will crawl to the grave,
worn
and weary,
upon the Earth I have salted
with tears,
violent and hot–
but harmonious–
in Time’s own poetry,
where I will find
the Peace and Solace of Rest,
drinking from a forgetful cup,
enshrouded
by the arms of my brother—
The Undergloom.
Genre – Mystery
Style – Surrealistic
And again, the sky fell on him, it happened many times, but only on that occasion, he made a decision that he never did before. The sky fell on him again- he was on the beach, he was pressed hard against the sandy shore, the light faded out. In the darkness, he only listened to the sound of the sea like a distant music. He was not afraid as he was used to it like an epileptic patient is accustomed to his epileptic episodes at one point of his illness. It happened to him many times, the sky fell on him many times, so he was used to it. He was only waiting in the darkness to see what happened at last, he was listening to the sea like a distant music interrupted by a strong wind. He was waiting to see whether he died or survived on that occasion- that was the only option he had, he knew it; he got used to it. He was waiting. He felt pressed, smashed, crushed, and sunk in the darkness- perhaps in the same way one Little Village Frog once felt under his foot, he now remembered that rainy day. One rainy day, in his village, he accidentally stepped on a frog- he felt moist, slippery, existence of the frog under his barefoot, and he heard a squishing sound, he jumped away immediately and looked back to see the flattened little frog smashed by him… he was speechless, broken, felt like crying… he came near the frog, sat and saw it was still alive… he tried to touch it softly as an apology, but it ran; no, it didn’t run, it couldn’t run, it just managed to drag itself away as quickly as possible towards the pond next to it; just before it crawled down to the pond and disappeared into the pond-edge-shrubs, it stood for a moment and turned, perhaps it wanted to say to him, ‘why did you do that to me?’. He now remembered about that little frog while lying on the sandy beach under the light-less sky’s foot; he was smashed, squashed, half sunk in the sand and he remembered the frog, he felt like the frog at that time. Time passed, the episode ended like all others in the past, the sky went back to the sky, the darkness disappeared into the light and he survived, again. He survived and he made a decision that he had never made before. He decided to terminate his life by himself, in his own way, by his own self, not by the society or politicians or religions or enemies or lovers or philosophers or friends- not by anyone else or anything else, not even by the sky. The sky fell on him and he survived and he decided to commit suicide for the first time, he promised to himself to give him a beautiful death. In a beautiful way, a romantic way, a poetic way, a musical way, an innocent way- he wanted to end his life and smile like moonlight. He was lying face down, now he lay on his back. He looked at the sky- the clouds, the birds, the lights, the orange sky, he saw all that and he remembered a poem he wrote a long time ago. He recited that poem as the black clouds were floating in the orange sky; he recited the poem with the rhythm of the gentle breeze and the waves passing him by and the birds and the orange sky, the sky that crushed him a moment ago. He recited his own poem, not of Tagor or Shakespeare or Thoreau or Keats or Byron or Apollinaire or Jibanananda Das or of anybody else; he recited his own poem called ‘‘The festival of committing suicide’’ He recited-
‘‘Here, they come.
They all come in flocks
In such a calm and lonely land
To die…
It seems it is a festival of committing suicide
The festival of death.
When the breathless Life dozes off a bit
They take the opportunity and escape
They come here to take a little breath,
To taste a little bit of Life
Yes, it is a festival of committing suicide
The festival of death.
The nooses joyfully sway in the air, in rows after rows
The Adams and the Eves dance naked bursting into laughter
As they succeeded in escaping
As they now can hang themselves to be filled with pleasure.
The waves of the Life still beckon them…
The Art still smiles softly to promote its presences…
Ignoring all those hoaxes,
They come here, in flocks
In such peaceful land
To die.
It is, indeed, a festival of committing suicide
The festival of death
They saw many faces of Life
Masks after masks, they observed
Many swings of Life misled them to too many lifeless ways…
They walked and walked and walked enough towards the meaninglessness.
Hence
They come here to breathe
To die
In this lonely land ’’
He recited his poem within himself again and again and then he fell asleep, by the sea. At night, the sea swallowed him up. It was a moonlit night. Alas, he couldn’t die in his own way!
Copyright (c) Zakir Hossain
I have a lot of it, more than I thought I did, and in the past couple years
I spent time going through Stuff I owned that I stored in my pale red barn, out back
Where the horse stall fell and chickens claimed as their roost a year or so back
Stuff, like Aunt Mary’s old plates and my mom’s wedding dishes and a plethora of purses
Because that’s one thing I like (purses) but it doesn’t matter, does it, all this stuff, because
It just clogs up my mind and my heart and my arteries and the blood that carries oxygen slows
And I can’t breathe and I’m wondering why did I get all this stuff? It hurts
It suffocates
And I look at the Eiffel Tower, because I bought it when we were there, in France, years ago
But now all it brings me is grief so I placed it in the donation box.
It got a new home.
I don’t mind any more. I feel free! But there’s a secret!
The secret, (there’s always a secret)…
I don’t donate everything, because some things must be buried, be it in a Dumpster
Or in the kitchen trash or in the ground…
There are things not even man should touch again and these things were set on fire
Because it was Stuff and Stuff, some Stuff, cannot have my permission to live!
Stuff
I loved those boots; I saved them in a box, protected, because they were special.
Boots. I loved them
They were worn three times in a decade; their special-ness were wrapped around my heart and then,
THEN
I decided it was time to start wearing them a bit more so I carefully pulled the trophies from
Their resting place and the boots…
Were dead.
Deceased.
The soles were soft and mushy
The leather, torn
My boots died alone,
And I couldn’t will them back to life
And then I realized, it’s just Stuff
And what is the point?
I loved those boots.
Stuff, I was beginning to realize..Stuff
Was rotting my life and my eyes were dull and I was
Missing joy and living and freedom all because I stored up pretty things
Afraid to use them
And I lost the scent of the rose as it bloomed
And the feel of a summer’s rain as it kissed my face and I lost
The crunch of the autumn’s leaves as I walked all because
I was afraid of letting go
Because of…
Stuff
Then I began my metamorphosis
It was rigid (at first)
It was labor, it was work, it was painful but I remembered the boots and
I realized this truth: Keep something without using it and it falls apart.
Use the silver, use the mugs that are meant for “some day”
Wear the best dress, because moths don’t need it
Take out Aunt Mary’s dishes and pile on sourdough bread and butter and enjoy
Because life is Now
And Stuff can’t go with us…
My father lies in a hospital bed
And I am coming to terms with this, with death
And “stuff”
I have been gifted, in a way, with a closing of a life
Bittersweet
And this time line is not stored on a shelf, but in my heart
Hours ago my son and I stood in my father’s bedroom
We stood among old things and I knew none of these material things
None of this stuff
Mattered
My father gave me:
The love of the wilderness and of wild things, the love of coyotes crying in the night
Of rivers thundering, wild, in my beautiful Colorado mountains
Stars, in their multitudes, and how he spoke of them with awe!
Dreaming in 3-D,
Teaching me to walk in silence in moccasins he gave me when I was five
So I wouldn’t disturb the wild creatures of the night;
He showed my heart medicine; and though we fought and cried
I see now that my dad was part of my remedy of life and it came late, but it came
Then there’s Stuff and my dad didn’t need Stuff.
He did need mountains and stars and he passed that on to me and
I thank him for not giving me Stuff!
We collect, we love, we store but
It is Stuff
Stick it in your pocket or on the shelf but it is Stuff
And now I’m using Stuff
Throwing away stuff, burning stuff, donating stuff
Living Life
Life is Now
Letting Go
Receiving love and laughter and knowing that it’s ok to have
Beautiful Things but it’s just Stuff!
There is change and I have cut the cord
There is no noose around my neck
Any more
Self-torture is chipped away and
Stuff
Is powder
I spent time going through things I owned that I stored in my pale red barn, out back
Where the horse stall fell and chickens claimed as their roost a year or so back
I’m taking the mountains and the stars and things like that.
Tucking them into my heart;
I’m using the good plates tomorrow, and today
I’m going on a walk in my favorite shoes
I may be back today
I may be back tomorrow
But I’m walking and
I’m Walking Light
I take off my shoes and walk into the river
I feel stones and sand squish between my toes;
The water is ice…
I look up and the mountain skies blush crimson
My toes sink deeper into sand and stones
A hawk flies just over the pines
And my heart beat is the river’s rhythm:
I am home.
alone in the verdant field
she munches the grass
though there’s no satisfaction there
remembering her last love
even the fresh grass and buttercups
of this warm Spring morning
taste bland, empty, meaningless
why eat to stay alive
when life itself feels like death?
the early day’s breeze
ruffling her woolly coat
she feels a gentle caress
the nuzzle of her true love
the hearty smell of his matted hair
lost in her fantasy
a bolt of ecstasy flashes through her being
shaking her to the core with pleasure
stepping on a pebble in the field
awakens her from this temporary world
once again, she finds herself alone
in the distance, she hears a plaintive “baaaaaa”
it sounds just like him… is it? could it be?!
she’s already in another daydream
She’s Beautiful.
As I’m looking into
You bright eyes,
Suddenly I’m in love….
With a beautiful woman
From above,
As I close my eyes,
And count to three,
I see us forever in love…
It’s our future I see,
So take my hands
Sweetheart….
As I kiss you softly
And slowly,
A forever trust of friendship
From here and beyond,
Between you and me,
Gazing into your eyes
Touching you softly
Watching the birds
Our favorite song’s
As we watch
The stars sparkle
In the night sky,
I Whisper…..
Your beautiful….
I LOVE YOU….
It’s what I see YOU,
True Beauty
Standing in front of me….
David P Carroll…