Genre: inspirational/motivational
A Mention of Minchin
By Allison Welborn
There will always be a percentage
Of people who don’t agree with your message.
Some will love you and follow your profession;
They will chant “Tim is God,” and you’ll be their obsession.
Some will adore “White Wine in the Sun,” and agree with “The Fence,”
But will completely reject your religious stance.
And some will hate you and will never give you a chance.
Some will get out of their seat and on the toes of their feet
When I say, “What do you think of Minchin? Here, I’ll give you a beat.”
“He’s loud and obnoxious.
He’s rude and rambunctious.
He will never make it as a comedian.
He’s overly sarcastic and rudely bombastic.
He’s offensive and aggressive.
He will always be a fool, scum, a godless bohemian.
He’s racist and tasteless.
He’s ignorant and arrogant.
I’m sure he’s heard it all, that fumigant.
How dare he use the word nigger?
Whatever happened to tar and feather?
It’s shit on a page!
Get off the stage!”
To them I would say,
“Here are a few questions if I may,
Did he offend you? Are you mad?!
Did he come a little too close to home for you, lad?
If you’ve answered yes, it was probably rightly due;
Maybe you should change your hue, or get a clue.
If you heard the words that were applied,
You’d know that he was on the right side.”
They would see what they were missin’,
If they would just give it a listen.
Your music is the Xanax to my anxiety;
When I’m down, your lyrics pick me back up entirely.
Every time I wake, something emerges in my gourd.
Why, it’s you; whether it’s a line, a verse, or a chord.
Surely I haven’t been misconceived,
For this is what I have perceived . . .
“He’s articulate and accurate.
He’s crude but shampooed.
He will be a hit or miss for the religious clans.
He’s clever and a scholar.
He’s relatable and inspirational.
He will be a fucking legend to his biggest fans.
He’s considerate and elaborate.
He’s honest but modest.
He has changed some of my views, for that I am fondest.
He’s one of a kind, a true performer!
He give me chills, even if it’s summer!
Like cheddar, he only gets better with age.
For Tim Minchin will never be caged!”
They fall back in their seat, in what seems like defeat.
“I’ll give him another go, maybe there’s more to Tim than I know.”
If I’ve done my part, perhaps they’ll have a change of heart.
I may have created a brand new fixation,
All due to a mention of Minchin.
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